Some days it's like butter. Smooth, easy, sweet. I'm the mom I want to be--I'm patient, involved, present. I'm the wife I want to be--supportive, loving, fully doing my half in this marriage. Sometimes I'm even the person I want to be--responsible, caring, making a difference in my little corner of life.
Most days, I struggle. I snap. I'm impatient. I'm lazy. I find myself reverting to old habits and characteristics that I'm trying to either rid myself of or at least stifle. And I'm frustrated. Frustrated that I can't just find the "will power" to kick all those bad qualities I have that I struggle with daily.
Lately, I have had a lot of butter days. The house has been cleaner, the tv's been on less, the girls aren't arguing as much. I've been feeling very blessed!
Then, one day, despite my oncoming illness I can feel building up in sinuses, we need a couple things for dinner, so I throw the girls in the car to go to the store. As I'm backing out, I forget that Evan was the last one to drive the car and he'd pulled my car closer to the left of the garage than normal because I'd complained that he'd parked too close to his own car for me to open my door and carry the stuff in my lap out of the car. So, I back the car out like I normally do, looking for children on bikes and pedestrians with dogs that might be walking across out driveway. That's when I hear the crunch and see my driver side mirror shattered and hanging from the car. I hadn't checked to see if the side mirror would clear the garage wall...I would like you all to know that I did not say one swear word in front of my two small children. Nor did I cry when Elisabeth gasped and said, "Oh no! Daddy's going to be sooooo mad." Nope, I just calmly got out of my car and retrieved the duct tape from the house and taped it as best I could to my car. I then proceeded to try, again, to leave for the store just as Evan pulled up all smiling and happy to see us--his loving family. To say that Evan wasn't happy about the car is a very honest statement. To say I was even more unhappy is also a very honest statement.
The mirror was fixed today and my idiotic mistake was a tad expensive to say the least.
Not such a smooth as butter moment...sigh...
Virginia,
ReplyDeleteJust remember those kinds of things happen to all of us. Yes, it comes with a price tag, but don't be too mad at yourself, or anyone else. Same goes for when someone gets a speeding ticket or locks themselves out of the house or the car, etc. There are lots of "shoulda, coulda, woulda" days in life. The best thing to do is to not be too hard on yourself...or if it's your spouse, be supportive. No one does things like this on purpose. Here's to a butter day!
No one does things like this on purpose...now THAT'S some wisdom I need to remember. I really liked this post, Virginia (I like all of your blog posts and, for the first time, I am going to make one of your VA Cooks recipes!) I may just struggle with high expectations in general, so this post is a good reminder about going with the flow...I'm sure I'll think of it like butter now.
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