Fighting the Good Fight

My children are loud people.

It is rare when my house is quiet (although, right this second, it is! Julia is reading and V is playing trains and you could hear a pin drop!!!). With five people under this roof, there is a lot of talking, laughing, crying, singing, bickering, hollering, storytelling, more bickering, screaming and general chaos.


I am very upfront that I know I, myself, am a very loud person. I would always tell the people who interviewed me for teaching positions that I'm loud--I'm loud when I'm happy, loud when I'm excited, loud when I'm frustrated. I felt I owed it to them to know in advance that they were not hiring a quiet, peaceful teacher.


However, my house is loudest when my children are bickering and lately that feels like all the freaking time.

They wake up and start fighting.

They sit by each other and fight.

They fight from opposite sides of the house.

They fight outside, inside, at the store, at the library.

One time, when we were at a hotel, Elisabeth and Julia were both sleep talking and it sounded like bickering!

I am no stranger to sibling bickering. It is the chosen language of me and my own sister. It is a part of being in a family and having siblings--there will be fighting, hurt feelings, frustration. But one thing that Evan and I both feel strongly about is that there should never be any bullying and that, in general, you should always be respectful and kind--even to your siblings.

While our theory is all good and whatnot, actually teaching it to our offspring is a battle. I find that we are constantly repeating ourselves to what seem to be deaf ears. We also are saying the same things to 6.5 year old Julia about how she treats Vivian that we had to tell a younger Elisabeth about how she was treating a toddler Julia.

Full circle, people. This means we'll definitely be telling 6.5 year old Vivian to be nice to her three year old brother.

As much as I dislike repeating myself and as much as I feel like I am not being heard, every now and then there is a glimmer of hope that maybe my words are sinking in; moments when I hear them correcting their tone from being rude to kind, when I hear them trying their best to compromise, when I hear them saying yes to a younger sibling asking them to play when I know they really want to say no.

One thing I always tell the older two girls (every day, a million times a day) is that they will be siblings FOREVER. They will be talking, listening, dealing with each other until the end of time. As the oldest, Elisabeth has a heavier load because all of the kiddos will be looking up to her. She has had the most experience dealing with younger siblings and needs to set an example of how to deal with persistent toddlers and pesky grade school sibling antics. We talk a lot about how she communicates with them is how they are learning to communicate with those younger than them. And that sometimes you have to make sacrifices--like playing trains with your toddler sister when you'd rather hole up in your room and listen to music or let your elementary aged sister hang out in your room with you while you clean. How she talks to them and treats them is going to have a bigger impact than how their friends treat them.


Something that is hard to understand, that took me a while to understand before I could teach it to my kids, is that building up these relationships now is the basis for how they will treat each other as grown ups. The same annoying traits and habits that they want to punch their sisters in the face for now are just going to become annoying adult habits that will most likely still make them want to punch their sister. But, with each time they successfully compromise, with each time they sacrifice their time or their own wants for a sibling, with each act of grace they show, they aren't just building up their relationships with each other, they are learning and practicing how to be better people (which I hear is what the whole goal of parenting really is--raising good people). And who doesn't want to have their adult siblings be awesome people to turn to?


So for each rare, unicorn sighting moment when my children are all getting along and there is peace in the land, I am taking it as a victory. And a chance for my ears to stop bleeding from the last sibling bickering battle.

The Importance of Naps when Uber Pregnant

You guys, today, I am 36 weeks pregnant.

That is really pregnant.

That is so pregnant that I am pretty sure I have never been this pregnant and can't get any bigger than I currently am right now.

It is so pregnant that people are starting to stop me out in public to explain to me that I look like I am going to pop or sound sadly shocked to hear I still have over 3 weeks left to go.

I am SO PREGNANT that I can not put my socks on without a pep talk to my legs about bending and lifting. Forgetaboutit if I drop something on the floor because there is no way I'm bending over to get it. And if you for a minute think that I can get off the couch without a prayer, you are wrong, my friend. Wrong.

Being this pregnant also means that I sleep horribly at night (due to hip pain, constantly getting up to use the bathroom, slowly rolling over by trying to lead with my belly) (oh, and apparently I snore...like a pig...). This leads to me puttering out in the middle of the day and giving in to the siren song of napping.

Aren't naps great? I know I have always appreciated naps, even as a kid! I had morning kindergarten and I specifically remember coming home and asking for a nap. (Yes, I was the Best Kid Ever, thankyouverymuch.) There's just something so lovely about catching a few sleeps when the sun is out. Seriously, I could probably write a whole book of poems dedicated to naps.

A rare nap for Vivian.

The other day I was starting to feel the pull to take a nap and told Julia that I was going to go rest in my room for a little bit. Julia, who will be 7 years old next month, is usually pretty ok with me napping. When I first started needing them, I told her that growing people in your belly makes you really tired and that if I went to lay down it was only for an hour and that she and Vivian could watch tv while I napped. She found this to be the most excellent of deals.

Of course, there are times I feel guilty for napping during the day. I know that for a few months out of their lives having extra tv time is not a big deal, but I couldn't figure out why I was feeling guilty for trying to catch some much needed pregnant lady sleep this go-round. Then it dawned on me--this is the first time that I have been pregnant and had kids home during the day.

So, obviously, when I was pregnant with Elisabeth I had zero kids and could crash whenever I wanted while pregnant (well, after student teaching, of course). It was dreamy.

When I was pregnant with Julia, I worked full time. So I lived off of coffee at work and either came home and slept or went to bed super early (like 8:30pm). That actually sucked because I'd get home and either sleep through dinner, leaving Evan and Elisabeth to eat without me, or I'd go to bed the same time as Elisabeth and lose that down time with Evan.

With Vivian's pregnancy, I had three year old Julia at home with me, but she napped for 2-3 hours every day! I just napped when she napped. That was definitely the ideal.

But, with neither Julia or Vivian napping, now I have to squeeze in naps. I finally had to just give myself permission to not feel bad. They get to watch tv, they are given snacks, and both know that they can come wake me up if they need me (aka: blood or fire).

One day last week I was kind of cranky and borderline weepy. I can't even remember all the details, but I was huffing and puffing about something and I look over and see Julia staring at me. With the kind of wisdom only a child can possess she quietly said, "Mommy, I think today will need to be a nap day for you."

Yes, dear.

A Day with Trains (aka Vivian Explodes with Delight)

Yesterday we ventured over to Union, Illinois to visit the Illinois Railway Museum. I don't remember how we had heard about it, but if you at all have met Vivian, you know we have a train junkie in our house. We figured that she'd enjoy spending a few hours looking at real life trains and it's only about 40 minutes east of Rockford, so a super easy trip to make. 

What we weren't expecting was this museum to be so hopping! There were a lot of people there, lots of things to ride on, and so much to visit. Even for those of us who aren't really into trains (aka: me and Elisabeth) we ended up having more fun than we anticipated.

Evan won major points for finding us a Groupon so that we were all only $4 each to get in! Gotta love a deal. We rode on an old commuter trolley first that was bright red. The conductors came and punched your tickets, which the younger two girls found exciting. 

Why can't my third child just nicely smile for pictures?! Siiiiigh.

I'm really glad we chose to go yesterday because the weather was PERFECT! Low 70s, sunny, and I didn't melt into a 35+ week pregnant pile of sweat. I hate sweating. Plus, there was no fast walking and lots of places to sit.

There was a picnic area and a little park for the kiddos. Next time we will totally bring a lunch.

Besides the working trolleys (three total), the old 70s accordion bus (we did not ride that this time), and the steam train, there were a lot of barns filled to the max with tons of different trains.

Vivian totally loves talking about how trains are coupled. Every time she saw two engines coupled together she made us all look.

I was partial to the yellow trains or trolleys. Obvs.

This trolley went directly to the zoo!!! Best one ever!

The steam engines were unanimously the favorite of the trains we saw.

Vivian was super cute because she kept using her shirt as a reference point with all the steam trains she saw. She'd see if the train had the same parts as her shirt. "There's the funnel...and the bell...and the whistle..."

Another red trolley! This one took you all over the grounds and dropped you off places. It was a uber pregnant lady's dream.

There were a few old train cars they'd turned into gift shops and book stores.

Vivian was so excited to see THREE play train tables. We hung out there for a good twenty minutes.

We ended up eating lunch at the diner.

Time to ride the actual STEAM TRAIN!!

This was the last thing we did and Vivian was so excited that she couldn't function normally. She laid down in her seat while she waited for the train to start moving. This was her face when she heard the whistle:

Passing the trolley on the tracks:

After the ride you could go up and look inside the control room.

In August they are having Thomas and Percy come and all three girls agreed that it would be worth it to come back that soon so Vivian could ride her favorite trains. There really was so much to do and see that we didn't get to it all in the 5 hours that we were there. It was a fun day!