Defying Perfection

The other day, my friend Rachel shared on her facebook account a post from a blog about perfectionism. I would highly recommend you read it. It's not only moving, but so true and makes you stop to think about the pressures we not only put on ourselves to be that perfect mom, friend, son, father, employee, daughter, aunt, citizen but also the pressure we might be unknowingly be putting on those we love.

We ended up talking about this post at our Tuesday night book club meeting and a few people said how they are not going to be using the work perfect anymore when describing expectations or people.

It kind of got me thinking about my own expectations for the girls, for Evan, for myself. It takes a lot to not only recognize that you can, in fact, never be perfect at any one thing but that you should stop striving for it and expecting it from others.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try your best, because you should. I'm just saying that unrealistic expectations are not healthy for anyone.

So, today, when I was reading one of my favorite blogs--Trains, Tutus and Tea Time--by the lovely Corrine and her post was about protesting perfection, I knew the fates were telling me something. I went to the original post about protesting perfection by Dr. Brene Brown and found a truly inspiring post about rebelling against perfect standards. Please check out her site, not only for the beautiful background (seriously, I love it) but for her moving words. After reading Corrine and Dr. Brown's posts, I knew what I wanted to discuss today.

Yesterday, I got my nose pierced.

I know, I'm excited. My darling friends Rachel and Kim went with me to hold my hand and corral my child while I got it done.

Kim, being a genius, took my camera and documented my experience because, as she said, "You know you're going to blog about this." She knows me so well.
The place I went to smelled like a hospital (aka: disinfectant), which was a good thing. It was immaculate inside and the room where I got the piercing could have been any doctor's examination room.
I was kind of nervous, due to my fear of needles.



I must tell you, though, it did not hurt very much at all. More like a pinch that made my eyes water. Nothing lingering.
Why am I talking about my nose piercing when I was just talking about perfection?

Well...because I knew some people would see it as a very stupid thing do. A very un-perfect decision. Were I striving to be perfect, I would have never gone through with it.

I happen to love my nose ring.

I'm giving up on perfection. I'm going to try working on happiness and being grateful.

Memaw & Pepaw visit

My parents came to visit for 5 days.

As I mentioned yesterday while we were having coffee, there were some tears when they had to go back to Illinois.

I truly believe, though, that it's mixed blessing being so far away from our families. Obviously, we miss them. We wish we could be there more. We wish we could have seen Ethan after his first day of preschool and watch Owen grow into the pudgiest, squishiest baby ever. We wish that our parents could come to every event that the girls are involved in.

But, because we are so far away, it's a giant deal when we have visitors. We try to take in as much of each other as we can. We appreciate free babysitters and the extra stories and making memories because we're also trying to give them a memorable trip.

So we went to the zoo.

For some strange, odd, totally unlike me reason, I had never taken my parents to our zoo in their past trips. I apologized profusely and then berated myself for such a grave error.

My mom was thrilled to get to feed the giraffes.


We fed the birds. I will not get into how I was pooped on by a bird and almost threw up because it was on my bare arm, but I still continued to take pictures of the girls until my mom found me a kleenex and sanitizer. I'm sure you don't want to hear about bird poop.




We went to the "World Wide Day of Play" on base. They had jump houses and giant checker games, broomstick hockey and a rock climbing wall, and fruit and water for snacks.




We ate at The Airplane Restaurant. My dad had never been there and it's one of Elisabeth's favoritest restaurants in the city.


We also went to the Colorado Wolf and Wildlife Center. I'm going to make that experience a separate post for another time, but I'm sure it goes without saying that Elisabeth was ecstatic.

We went to the airplane museum on base. Julia's favorite airplane? "Baby cows."
We also invaded Evan's office. The girls drew him pictures while we chatted and then taped them to the wall. It just proves that Evan could totally take Julia to work with him while he does legal mumbo jumbo.
After 5 fun packed days, we took Memaw and Pepaw to the bus station where they would hop a ride to Denver and the train station to catch the train back to Illinois.
Julia keeps telling me that Memaw and Pepaw will be back soon, but it honestly might be a year before we see them again. You see, my sister's husband is also in the Air Force and they are stationed in Texas. So, my parents take two trips a year--one to see her and one to see me.

Now, I feel that, as their eldest and most precious child, they should see me more, but my mom claims that she loves us "equally" and that they need to be "fair". I think she's just sparing Terra's feelings.

But, the real reason we don't know when we'll see them again is that we find out in November what we'll be doing next summer. Either we'll be hanging out here in Colorado another year or we'll be finding out we will be moving to our new station in the summer of 2011. So, it's hard to plan another trip when we don't know exactly what we'll be doing.

So, for now, we're planning an Illinois trip next September. Until then, we'll just have to try to keep the "we miss them" sadness away through emails and video chat and phone calls and letters. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.

Virtual Coffee

Oh, hi.

I need coffee in the worst way today. Thank goodness it's virtual coffee day. I'm linking up with Ms. Amy again over at Lucky Number 13. You know, if she hadn't started this whole virtual coffee, my Tuesdays would be very boring. Boring and lonely.

If we were really meeting for coffee today...I'd tell you that I'm sorry for yawning so much. I'm exhausted.

Part of my exhaustion is from knowing that I have to really do some deep cleaning today. Reorganizing of kitchen cabinets and pantry. Deep cleaning in our bedroom. Lots of laundry. Oh my goodness, my laundry pile is mountainous. You know how I feel about cleaning...nothing pleasant.

If we were really meeting for coffee...I'd show you what's been eating my front step flowers. It's this guy:
I know. He's super cute. I've never seen such a pink little caterpillar before. Yes, I did let him live. He's still munching on my flowers. And, he seems to have a friend. But, it's almost time for my flowers to call it quits anyway. Who am I to deny such a pastel little guy his breakfast, lunch and dinner?

If we were really meeting for coffee...I'd tell you that my parents left yesterday afternoon. That they were here since last Thursday for my birthday. That my girls miss them like crazy but had so much fun with them.

I'd tell you how nice it is to have grandparents in the house helping out. And how Julia warmed up to my dad right away, which totally made his whole trip. I'm pretty sure he read her a thousand books.
I'd tell you how Elisabeth cried when my parents left. How she begged to go and visit them. How she told me she misses Illinois and that it broke my heart. We talked about how great it is when everyone we love comes to visit us. And that it's even more special when they are staying at our home because we don't see them every day. We talked about how lucky we are to get to move around the country (and then she said, "Move around the world!) because we're in the Air Force. She eventually agreed. But there was still some sniffling the whole way home.
If you were really here drinking coffee with me...I'd tell you tonight is book club night. We are going to discuss "The Poisonwood Bible", a must read for anyone. I would tell you that I really miss Julia's nap times and that I might try to coax one out of her today for my own selfish reasons.

As you were leaving...I would agree with you that today really is absolutely perfect. I'd tell you not to worry about the cat escaping when you open the front door because he's already escaped out the back door when Julia was playing before you came over. I'd tell you same time, same place next week. I can't wait to see you again.

The Rents.

My mommy and daddy are coming to visit us tomorrow.

On my birthday.

We have big plans the 5 days they're here. They include going to the zoo; watching Elisabeth at her dance class; watching Julia tumble; attending my birthday party; going on to the base for a fun day which will include bounce houses and face painting; and going to a wolf conservation place.

I'm excited.

So, I might be absent for a couple of days. Or I might write long, well thought out and grammatically correct posts because my parents will be entertaining my children and I will have the opportunity to have a complete thought.

You just never know.

Virtual Coffee

Well, good morning!!! I'm linking up with Amy over at Lucky Number 13 again for Virtual Coffee.

I love Tuesdays. I love it when you come over to share coffee with me!!

If we were really having coffee this morning...

I'd show you this mug:

I've had this mug since I was very little. Since my name is Virginia, and no modern child's name is Virginia or Ginny, I had a hard time finding this with my name on them when I was little. Like pencils or cups or those neat-o school supplies that all the other kids could by because there names were Jennifer or Sarah or Tiffany. Not me, though.

I'm not saying I don't like my name. I happen to like it a lot. I'm just saying that my childhood had some major traumatic experiences with not being able to have junk that I'd lose and throw away with my name plastered all over it. It was rough.

Anywhoo, this is one of my favoritest mugs. It was chosen amongst many to be the holder of my coffee this morning. If you were really here with me, I'd show you my mug cabinet and allow you to choose your own mug:

If we were really at my house drinking coffee, I'd show you how my dining room has been overtaken by legos. Again.
Ever since we brought home the thousands of tubs that Evan had accumulated since childhood, he and the girls play with legos all the time. For hours. I'm not really complaining because sometimes, I can even read in the living room all by myself. It's heavenly. Currently, Elisabeth is building a multi-level hotel.
Evan just builds planes and cars that Julia loves to play with and destroy so that Evan will rebuild them for her. It's a partnership that is working out swimmingly for both of them.
If you were really here for coffee this morning, I'd tell you how Julia completely defeated me yesterday in the battle of the two year old.
Though she might be very cute in those pigtails, the girl is a stubborn brute. She has taken up crying when she wants something, is upset about something, might need something, is thinking about maybe needing something. And it is the most annoying fake cry in the universe.
I don't do fake crying. It's actually something I deeply despise. And yesterday, I just didn't have it in me to deal with her in a calm, patient parenting manner. I may or may not have told her several times that I was going to lose my mind if she didn't stop with the crying. I might have told her that I would put her on the front porch and lock all the doors. I may or may not have recruited Elisabeth to deal with her while I tried to cook dinner that wasn't anywhere near done till after 7:00PM. There is a possibility that I contacted my sister-in-law telling her that I was running away from home.

I can't say for sure whether any of these things occurred. I'm pleading the fifth.

I will say that, after a good night sleep and Julia sleeping in till almost 7 this morning, I'm feeling better. I feel energized and ready to take on the world of Julia.

If you were really sitting at my kitchen table with me drinking a second cup of coffee, I'd apologize for ranting about my stellar parenting. I'd ask you how you week has been. I'd ask if you have decorated for fall yet. I'd offer you some apple pie that I'd made. I'd tell you that if you like it, I'm posting the recipe on my cooking blog later on today.

Then I'd tell you how next time you come over, I'll have some cinnamon rolls for you. My lovely, wonderful, beautiful friends Kim and Rachel are coming over tonight and we're making Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls.
We will be splitting them between us because they make like a million. I plan on freezing some so that I don't eat a third of a million cinnamon rolls in a day. I'm thinking that wouldn't be good for my waistline (unless I'm planning on making my waistline non-existent). Then I would tell you how much I love these girls and I don't know what I'd do without them. Probably crumple in a lonely heap and wither away. How sad to think about Colorado Springs without them.

As you were leaving, I'm sure I'd ooh and ahh at the weather and the bright blue sky and the mountains in the background. I'm make you ooh and ahh too. I'd promise to save you some of the cinnamon rolls and tell you that I truly love Tuesday morning coffee with you. Then I'd probably have to hurry back inside before my stupid cat, Roosevelt, tried to run away. Again.

Experiences.

While arguing with Elisabeth about why picking up your things in your bedroom is important because your parent falling in your room over random toys, clothes, more toys and more clothes is not a great thing, I had a thought...

When I was hanging up all of Julia's 3T clothes, packing away her too small 2T clothes, and getting the boxes of 4T clothes ready for a sudden growth spurt, I had a realization...

My kids are very blessed with an over abundance of clothes and toys.

While I am appreciative of all of the things my girls have been gifted or given, they really just have too much. Way too much.

Elisabeth's birthday is in less than 2 months and then Christmas right after it. I emailed my family and told them that Julia by no means needs any more clothes forever and ever. Amen. And while Elisabeth will need more clothes when she moves into the next size, she by no means needs any right now.

While talking to Evan about what I could suggest for birthday ideas for Elisabeth to our families, it hit me--I would rather money be spent on an experience than more material things.

I would rather take Elisabeth horse back riding like she always talks about then buy her another Barbie. I'd rather take the girls to see plays and concerts than spend money on toys they will play with 3 times before forgetting about them. I would subscribe to magazines that they will happily anticipate every month then wander through the Target dollar aisle because I just can't think of anything else to get them. I would rather have a membership to the zoo then another set of Little People that I have to clean up off my living room floor.

The more I thought about this, the more excited I got. So, I have decided to email my family members and tell them what we would appreciate as gifts for the girls. This is what I plan on saying:

We'd appreciate gift cards to their favorite restaurants since we never go out to eat anymore. The girls love getting their own "money" to take to restaurants and paying for themselves. Since we've decided that going out to eat should be more of a treat than a routine, getting to go to McDonald's is a very big deal in our house. We barely go once a month.

We'd appreciate memberships to zoos or a month of dance lessons or tickets to museums and aquariums. We love love love going to these things more than barbies and stuffed animals!

We'd appreciate time with you. We like when you visit and we like to visit you. We love to see you and you're so far away. We'd rather you and us buy a tank of gas to see each other than receive a video game.

I'm really excited about this idea. I'm hoping that my family will be excited about this too. I want to incorporate this in the way I give gifts too. Because, what it all boils down to is this--my girls are going to remember trips to zoos and vacations and visits from family members to whatever state we're living in more than they are the material things they receive. I remember trips to Iowa to visit my Grandma every summer more than I remember my baby dolls. I remember the look on Elisabeth's face the first time she road a train (to Chicago!) more than what I bought her for her 3rd birthday.

It's the experiences more than the material items that matter in life. I want that for my girls, so I need to start practicing it.

I like seeing all the clouds around here.

The clouds around here lately have been breathtaking! The sky is so big you can see for miles and miles. It's gorgeous.

Of course, those clouds haven't brought rain in 4 weeks...but they're still beautiful.

Yesterday, Elisabeth left for a 2 night, 3 day camping trip with her Girl Scout troop.
She was beyond excited. We borrowed a sleeping bag and magically had everything else she needed for camping around our house, which is funny because we are not camping people. We are hotel people. We are "get a hotel suite so we're no where near the children because we can never get any sleep if they're in the same room as us" people.

But, Elisabeth loves the idea of going camping. She even left me a note on my bathroom counter saying, "Don't forget Ebeth has to be at her camp by 6:00PM!!!". She's so funny.

She's getting to a fun age. Evan would disagree because he's still lamenting her not being ages 4-6. But, he's at a loss as to what to do with her developing boy craziness. And her concern over clothes, hair, and longing to need a training bra. She's also a total slob and that makes Evan twitch. I told him to wait till she's done with junior high. Girls become more normal again after junior high. Well, kind of normal. Normal enough.
I remember being her age, though. I remember pretending to be in movies and singing into microphones and longing to be on The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (the 1990s version, not the 1950s version) (Holy cow, I so wanted to audition for that. My mom would not drive me to Florida for the cast call though. I used to have anger but now I thank her because there is no way in heck I'd drive Ebeth to Florida to audition either.) Yeah, she's starting to show signs of what junior high's going to be like, but I'm doing ok with it.Mostly because she's funny. And happy. And fun to be around.
I'm going to keep her. Plus, I feel like sometimes parents take turns over who can tolerate which child. No, really, hear me out. Some days I can tell that Evan is not going to be able to rationally deal with Elisabeth because for one reason or another she is getting under his skin. So, I tell him to take a break and I deal with her. It works the other way too. If he thinks that I'm being overly irritable with one of the girls, he'll take over. It's not fair to be mean to either kid just because we are irritated with them for no other reason than they are being ordinary children.

(Switching topics...)

Julia has been really missing Evan and Elisabeth when they leave for work and school. She's been giving the whole, "I want my Daddy to stay home!!!!" shpiel as he's walking out the door for work. And, of course, it's totally working in making Evan feel guilt. Julia then proceeds to say, "I want my Daddy (or Elisabeth) back." all. day. long.

So, the other day, when her requests for Evan were more than normal, we took a trip to visit him at his office. We are probably going to be doing this a bit more often then just once a season like we have been.
This is Evan's view from his office window. Oh, I know, it's gorgeous. One time when Matt flew his C-130 to the base, Evan saw him land from his desk chair. I'm determined to get a big girl camera before we move so I can take a proper picture of his view and then frame it for him for all of his future offices.
We stole Evan for a while so we could eat lunch with him.
We chose McDonald's.

Mickey Mouse really enjoyed the trip.