Day 65. How are we halfway through May?

How have we been home bound for SIXTY FIVE days?!

Illinois is still in Phase II of reopening and will hopefully get to go into Phase III on June 1st. My sister made an awesome social story chart for my nephew (who has autism and needs very concrete visuals) to show him each phase of the reopening and what that means for them and their day-to-day lives. I'm not going to lie, I kind of need one for me. My favorite is that she has a picture of my parents, Memaw & Pepaw, and the height difference is spot on! 

So, if you look at her chart, you can see that in Phase II, we're still pretty shut down tight with only essentials still being what we go out for (you'll notice she considers coffee as essential as I do). In Phase III, we get to do more, but I think we as a family will be taking it slowly. I'm not sure when I'll be comfortable bringing the kids with me to stores or whatnot, but I think seeing friends (probably one family at a time, especially since a lot of our friends have gobs of kids) and family will be so lovely again. 

We for sure don't have anything scheduled for summer because most of our usual activities are being cancelled. We got the official word today that spring soccer for Vivian is cancelled (she was heartbroken). The Studio can't have their usual summer theater productions, so no auditions or big shows for the girls (although, they are putting on a small production to be streamed and it's for ages 13+, so Ebeth plans on auditioning). No Vacation Bible School or Totus Tuus, which is so sad. Since we won't be doing anything, I'm really hoping we do actually go into Phase III so that the kids can at least play with their neighborhood friends outside.

The kids have all had big emotions about this whole thing. I think Vivian has kind of had the rawest deal, though, because she's too young to just call and text her friends the way the older two girls can, but is too old to give too big of hoot that she isn't seeing her friends like the boys. She has cried a lot about missing people, which is heartbreaking. Often when we go around at dinner saying what our favorite and least favorite is, she will say that she can't touch her friends or go to their houses. She is a champion letter writer because of all of this, though, and has been keeping up on her correspondence. We also have been letting her see her neighborhood friends with restrictions, which has helped.

This kid. Sleeping is the only time he is silent.

Ooh! Last Thursday, the younger three and I went to the LIBRARY to pick up BOOKS!!! Our library announced they will be offering curb side pick up for books you put on hold and I scrambled to get some for us!

Their rules:

Our holds!!!!

Here's what I got for me! (We are doing a cooking unit over the summer and Julia will be doing a lesson on Julia Child, so I did get a couple of things for the both of us to read and watch.)

Our days still look the same. We're winding down on homeschool. Julia is officially done with her Co-op classes, so she's only doing math, which she will do all summer. Vivian has a couple more weeks of work until she is officially done with second grade, but she'll continue with math and spelling over the summer. Elisabeth is still trudging through her e-learning at her high school and we will all rejoice when on line classes are done for her on May 29. Online only classes are NOT how she learns and these past 65 days have been rough.

We have lots of things blooming in our garden! These alliums my father-in-law bought for me for my birthday in September to plant before winter and they are worth the wait!

Last night's Sunday Dinner Party had a hotdog station and chocolate-y Rice Krispie treats made my Julia:

The other day, Thomas was begging and begging for something and we had said no at least 4,000 times. In pure frustration, he cried out, "Is it because of the cornovirus?!?!" We all just stared at him before saying, "No..."

My current read:

The geraniums are blooming!!!:

Evan made french bread for dinner tonight and it was as beautiful as it was delicious!

David has been a champion eater lately and greatly enjoyed our spaghetti dinner tonight.

I keep thinking about what moving forward will look like for us. I know a lot of states have completely reopened, I know some are slowly opening back up like Illinois. I know each family has their own opinions about what moving forward will look like (because of jobs, health, custody, etc.), and we have started talking to the kids about how we as a family will be moving forward. It's hard to watch your friends have people over to their house or be closer than what your parents have told you you're allowed to be. It's hard being away from grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. We have talked to the girls about why we're making the decisions we're making, but it doesn't mean that I don't also want to just throw my hands in the air and make a beeline for my friends' houses and have our coffee playdates like we usually do when school lets out. 

Throughout this quarantine, my kids have all expressed at one time or another how glad they are that my father-in-law lives across the street from my sister-in-law and her family. They have said that they are glad my sister is still going to my parents' house. We're sad we can't be included in their circle of quarantine, but we're really thankful they all have each other and the ability to share this together. There is no black and white with this because life still happens during this pandemic. I can't control how other people react or choose to respond to this pandemic (which was quite eye-opening, because it turns out that I am a bit bossy and more controlling that I had thought...which I'm sure is not shocking to the people in my life that I like to boss and/or control), but it isn't my job to control others. It's our job to stay updated and educated, to make the best choices we can for our family, and to do the best we can. Which, when you think about it, is kind of always all we can do.

Day 58. Mother's Day Weekend Recap

Today, the day after the celebration of motherhood, was like a compilation of what makes motherhood so very hard sometimes. The boys seem to be in a perfect storm of disequilibrium and chaos. They bicker constantly until they are either crying and screaming in frustrated anger or fist fighting. If they aren't bickering, they are playing so well and so passionately that everything is said in a manic holler.

There is no inbetween. 

Today, it was too much. Every decibel their noise making ratcheted up, the more a dull thud in my head would pound. All through breakfast, through trying to drink my (needed) coffee, through doing school with Vivian, through lunch, through school with Julia, I could just feel my headache getting the best of me. 

I asked them nicely to talk quieter, to play in other areas, to go outside, etc, etc. Finally it got to a feverish pitch where I lost it, burst into angry tears, and had to go upstairs to get myself together. 

Thankfully, Elisabeth swooped in, got Thomas dressed, and tried to get a (stubborn and very contrary) David dressed. 

Eventually, everyone went outside, I got dressed in real clothes (like, legit real clothes, not just another set of loungewear), cleaned up the kitchen, and the day kind of got turned around for the better.

We just need to see our people. We need a break from each other, to see and play with our friends and family. We need our community. 

In other news, our cat decided to actually act like a cat and sit on the couch by Vivian. (This is so rare, because he usually avoids us at all costs, that I took a picture to capture the moment.) 

Let's talk about this weekend, which was lovely, and move on from my "Being a Mommy is Difficult" day.

I started Saturday pretty early (due to the boys waking up earlier than even Vivian) and decided to make bagels:

I made 14 and these were all that were left by the time I could snap a picture.

They weren't too dissimilar to making pretzels, so I am sure that I will make them again, but they aren't anything I will be making weekly. Also, I will be making them a smidge smaller so they will maybe be thicker. But, they were well received and tasted great!

Vivian putting away a scooter in her roller skates. Captain Safety.

We decided to do our weekend hike on Saturday since Sunday was calling for rain all day. We headed to Lowden State Park to visit the Black Hawk statue.

State parks have only recently opened up, so we figured there might be more people than at the forest preserves.

However, there were a lot more people than we had expected, and the trail that leads down to the river is very narrow. Between the narrow and steep trail, the number of people with dogs and families with strollers (??), we decided to turn around and go to the Byron Forest Preserve instead. Evan was able to get a few pictures of Elisabeth, Vivian, and David on the Lowden trail, though:

The Byron Forest Preserve is where the girls take science classes during the school year. Once a month we drive to the education center at the preserve and drop off the girls for the day and it's one of their favorite places to take classes. I'd never walked the trails before, though, so I was very excited to see how beautiful it was there. Plus, it was almost completely empty.

You can Byron's nuclear power plant from the trails. It always reminds of The Simpsons.

It was so nice out! And by the time we had gotten to actually walking, the sun was at that perfect spot where the lighting is magical. So, I used my phones portrait mode:

Thomas is not great at holding on for piggyback rides.

Their album cover:

Vivian never stays with us for long. She just jauntily takes the lead...

 until she is a speck in the distance. It's why I encourage her to wear bright colors on our hikes.

For Mother's Day, I asked to spend the day upstairs, alone. Everyone thought I was crazy, but since I get no alone time anymore, it's all I wanted. I did come down for the waffle breakfast Julia made (complete with bacon and scrambled eggs!) and I came down to open gifts and cards around midday, where Thomas insisted on being helped to put on his rain gear so he could pick me some flowers.

Otherwise, I read my book in bed, sewed some masks, and listened to The Office Ladies podcast. It was a great day.

I did come down to set up our Sunday Dinner Party meal because I wanted to have make-shift charcuterie board(s). The kids thought I was a flipping genius for making this for dinner, so I think we'll do it again soon. Thomas was especially cute picking out tiny foods to put on his plate with his dimply bear paws.

However, it is now Monday, and it was quite the Monday, and I haven't menu planned for the week yet and basically am unprepared for our week. Sigh.