We found out last Wednesday that Evan is being laid off by the Air Force. We had known for months that there was a big possibility that it could happen. There was a Force Shaping Board that met in July (on Evan's actual birthday to add an extra jab to the kidneys) to decide who would get to stay in and who would be asked to leave from Evan's 2009 graduating class. They were looking at getting rid of 40+ people out of 75.
I could go on and on about how ridiculous this cut is and how much it sucks for us, but honestly, there's only so many times you can bitch and moan about something like this before it turns into useless whining. Do I wish we hadn't been cut? Of course I do. Evan's an exceptional employee and I'm not just saying that because I'm his wife and think he's dreamy (which I do). He's hard working, smart, and loyal. He's well liked by his co-workers and a go-to guy from his higher ups. He has so many great attributes that I could continue telling you about, but I know full well that Evan will get grumpy and tell me I'm exaggerating (I'm not) and that even if those things were all true, it doesn't have seemed to have mattered. He was cut.
So, now we job hunt. Because they didn't tell us the results of that board until last week and Evan's last technical day is December 31, they did not give us very long to find a job, find a new home, move and get settled before they pull the rug out from under us.
Evan's been working like crazy on his resume and looking for job leads. I won't lie, it's panic inducing if we think about it all too much. We've been praying, taking it one day at a time, prioritizing what needs to be done to get his resume out there.
On my end, I have to start preparing for a move to who-knows-where at who-knows-when. It's such a different beast to pack for a move that the military gives you when you know where you're going, what his job will be, and over 6 months to plan and pack. We have none of those factors this time. The military isn't telling us where to go, just that we have to leave. We have no idea where we're moving because we have no idea what Evan's job will be. It's...overwhelming.
This weekend I started going through things in the basement and I sat there for a few minutes and let myself have a pity party. (I figure I'm entitled to a few of those before this is all said and done)
I don't want to move.
I know that sounds so ridiculous after all the moaning and groaning I did the first year or so of having moved here, but so much has happened. We have a home here, a routine. We figured we'd be here until at least 2015 or 2016. I like our parish, the girls' schools, the neighborhood. Yes, I have always known we'd never be here forever, but the way this has all played out has been like a big punch in the stomach--I didn't' see it coming and it hurts like hell. We joined the Air Force because we felt it was the most secure job choice. Irony at it's finest.
What's weird to me in all of this is that the routine continues. No matter how worked up I get about thinking about the unknown, I still have to help the girls pack lunches for school, still have to change diapers, still have to grocery shop, cook dinner, menu plan, do laundry, listen to grievances about what one sister has unjustly done to another sister. Life still goes on. And maybe that's the blessing in all of this--a good dose of reality to the surreal knowledge that our whole lives will be very different very soon.
The girls know as much as we feel they are old enough to handle. So, Vivian knows nothing. Julia knows that we're going to be moving soon. She knows that Evan isn't going to be working for the Air Force anymore and that he's looking for a new job. I think she is used to us talking about moving because we are in the military and that this is just another type of move with them. She was surprised that we didn't know what state we were going to next. Elisabeth knows almost everything. She's aware that Evan was laid off because of budget cuts and that now we're looking for a new job. She knows we could be moving anytime between October and December. However, she is fully confident in Evan finding a job and her complete trust in us is amazing (albeit a heavy cross to bear).
This week, I'm just focusing on going through things. We're do for a purge of stuff, so that's what I'm doing. I'm making piles of Keep, Donate, Trash and I'm slowly going through the things we own. I know it will take much longer than a week, especially since I'm only going through things when there are snippets of free time, but it's something tangible that I can do right now that isn't fretting.
So, please, keep us in your prayers and thoughts. We'll be keeping everyone as updated as we can.
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