26 days of Sheltering at Home. Twenty. Six.

You guys!!!! The yeast arrived today!!!!

Seriously a total highlight!! One anxiety about cooking and baking that is no longer nagging me.

We received some books in the mail from a friend and they are funny and the illustrations are lovely and it was so nice to have a surprise show up.

Before the world paused itself, Vivian had started piano lessons again after Christmas break. She takes them with the same company, The Studio, that the older two girls have participated in musicals for the past two years. The Studio is their other home for so much of the year, and when this pandemic hit, Julia was set to perform in the ensemble for Music Man with them on top of Vivian receiving lessons. This past week, The Studio figured out a way to continue lessons through video chat and Vivian was really excited (despite her very brisk manner with her teacher--the child is just curt in learning environments with others).

 I would love to one day have a piano, but need to have a reason to own one. Vivian is interested enough that I think we'll need to actively start looking for one within the year. I have always wanted to take piano lessons and it is a total bucket list item for me. Right now, we do have this awesome keyboard that her Godparents gave to our kiddos, so lessons can continue and maybe I will start seriously looking soonish.

Vivian decided she needed a pet rock. So she found one.
Her pet rock joined us for school yesterday.

Yesterday I went out to look at our garden and more things are blooming!!!

 My daffodil has friends now!

Then it we had a massive hail storm and I was very worried it was going to ruin the flowers, but it only knocked out a couple of the daffodils.

Vivian is usually starting her soccer season this month. She's been putting on her old uniforms and practicing in the yard. The boys are all about helping her out and Thomas was de-lighted to find out he had soccer clothes of his own. David prefers to dress preppy even when sporting. The soccer organization is moving the whole season back a full month, so hopefully they can start it up at the end of May. I signed her up because I still believe in hoping for the near future to not just be the four walls of our home.

Homeschool: Second Grade.

Julia's youth group met tonight via video chat. She was so, so excited! It went well enough that they're planning on doing it again next week!

Thomas desperately needs a hair cut. His hair is starting to get in his eyes. This is how he handles it:

I have decided he looks more like a rugby player than a soccer player.

Yesterday was really, really hard. I had a stress headache all day that turned into a migraine. I felt really trapped in our house and had a lot of anxious worries and thoughts running through my head. My stomach felt tight and I just wanted to find a spot in my house where I could cry and/or scream alone.  I keep talking to my kids about having big feelings about all of this, but, man, the big feelings are hard and they suck. Honestly, there's so much of this to digest and soak in. I know some people deal with this kind of stress by attacking everything--organizing things, tackling projects, keeping busy to help keep the cabin fever from seeping in or the anxiety from overwhelming them.

 I don't work that way. I tend to feel heavy and find myself moving slower. I seek stillness and silence instead of constant noise. I have to take breaks. I have to keep busy, but it's in small ways--spending an hour or so sitting and reading; baking something in the kitchen; only focusing on laundry and not letting all of the other household tasks try to smother me; making sure that if I think about someone that I'm saying a prayer for them; giving myself enough structure to function, but not too much to stifle. Some days are better and I can handle life like I normally do (which, quite honestly, is never at a truly busy bee pace because I am Sanguine Phlegmatic, which means I rarely feel rushed) (although, I do hate being late, which I usually am, but I never like it) and get stuff done. But yesterday? Yesterday I had to just focus on not sinking into the depths of despair.

Today was better. Even though I stayed up with insomnia until around 2:30 in the morning. Even though I survived on mainly coffee. Even though the same stressors were still there.

It's a constant ebb and flow. I'm glad today flowed better.