You suck. Seriously. What is it with you people? First off, you have speed limits that people in Illinois dream of! 75 mph on the interstate! 55 mph down the main streets in town! 65 mph on highways! We Illinois folk do drive that way, but it's illegal!!! So, why is that you all insist on going at least 10 miles UNDER the speed limit? Don't you understand that's what is causing so many accidents on Powers? That when you go so slowly next to people actually going the speed limit, you become a hazard? And what are you all doing that these accidents are so lethal? Are you driving with your eyes closed? Are you turning around to stare at the people in the backseat while you carry on conversations? Are you staring at the beautiful mountains to the west? I do not understand.
Actually, I have a theory. I think you all don't know what those pretty lights that hang from the sky and change colors are for. Let me help you.
Green means GO--not wait a few minutes while you finish texting, not gingerly pressing the accelerator and going 5 mph till the next stop light, not breaking because in the future the light might turn red and you want to be ready, it means GO GO GO.
The yellow light means YIELD. Not gun it through the ginormous intersection and pray no one notices that it turned red before your tires even made it to the cross walk, not sit in the middle of the intersection trying to turn left and stalling traffic all four ways, it means SLOW DOWN, JERK, CAUSE THESE INTERSECTIONS ARE HUGE AND I DON'T WANT TO BE T-BONED WITH MY KIDS IN THE CAR.
And, finally, the red light means STOP. Not hurry through it before the slow Colorado drivers push the accelerator to 10mph, not keep driving causing others to break and curse at you for being reckless, it means STOP YOUR DING-DANG CAR YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT.
I enjoy your speed limits, the ability to do U-turns at will, and the fact that you have roundabouts in lots of areas, but if you Colorado people don't start following basic rules of the road, I am going to turn on my inner Chicago style driving and not look back.
Sincerely,
Virginia
P.S. --And to all the Colorado police that I have seen lately on your neat-o motorcycles and squad cars using your nifty radar guns on us drivers--I do see you. Yes, you are super sneaky hiding around the hills and curves around town. But, I must ask, what are you doing? Do you ever really catch people speeding? Or are you ticketing people for going too slow? Ooh ooh, I know! You must be waiting for the numerous accidents that happen multiple times throughout the day. I see now. Carry on, fine sirs and madams.
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