The Weight Room.

Julia and I are back to the exercising grind. Well, that is to say, I exercise. Julia plays with children and reads books on squishy child size chairs. I should try to find her a chair like that for the house...

Anyway, as I mentioned before, I kind of took the month of December off from working out, so I am trying to re-establish a workout routine that is functional for me.

I always walk 2 miles. That's the first thing I do. I usually listen to my iPod and read a magazine because it makes the time go faster. Then, I try to do 20 minutes of some other cardio work out machine (the bikes, that glider-thingy, the stair-thingy). Now, before you start thinking, "Wow, Virginia. You're so awesome. You must be losing pounds left and right!", you must know that, actually...

No. No I'm not. I don't lose pounds left and right. I lose pounds slowly. Like a tortoise. Like a tortoise with a broken leg. Like a tortoise with a broken leg and a very heavy suitcase strapped to the top of his shell.

But, I do enjoy working out, so I'm trying to be patient. Like a tortoise.

After I do my cardio things and drink my water and thank the lord I can quit listening to the so very stupid women around me talk about Jersey Shore or whatever other crappy reality tv shows they watch that I don't know about, I head over to the weight room.

Now, I use these machines for about 20-30 minutes. I try to do mainly arm things because, well, I want my arms to be smaller and toned. Oh, and I want to be able to beat Evan up. So, I usually do some arm things and then maybe a few leg things so they'll be strong too. I listen to my iPod and remind myself constantly not to sing along because the weight room is much quieter than the cardio room.

Except...

Except for the noises coming from the extremely buff men. And the extremely (scarily) buff women. You see, one day, I forgot my iPod. I needed to recharge it and, because I am the most forgetful person ALIVE, I forgot to bring it with me. Now, this isn't as much of a problem in the cardio room because there's the radio and the tvs and the sounds of the treadmills and constant stupid chatter to serve as white noise. But, in the weight room, there is only quiet music that is filtered in. So, that day of iPodlessness, I heard the noises of what sounded like soft porn.

SERIOUSLY!!!

At first, I just kind of heard the occasional grunt from the guy with biceps bigger than Julia's tummy who is lifting too much weight. That just kind of sounds like a pig grunt. Normal. Then, I start hearing other sounds. Sounds of people lifting weights trying not to make sounds, which inevitably come out as moans. And deep sighs. And deep throat noises. And they're coming from the men and the women all at once.

I tried to ignore it. I tried to count my own weight lifting. I tried to focus on the soft rock music that seemed to be tuned to a channel that encouraged the mating sounds. But, I couldn't. And, because I'm juvenile, I started giggling. Yep, giggling. I know, I'm super mature.

So, now I'm that girl on the weight machine who's randomly laughing at nothing since I have no earphones in my ears and no person next to me that I'd been talking to.

Needless to say, I brought my iPod with me the very next day. And, I am trying to work on that whole "mature" thing.