I read it in a book about exercising. About how you see all these people at the gym and they look fantastic. They are trim and tone and running freaking marathons on the treadmills. Well, they all started somewhere.
So, here's where I'm starting. Right now.
I won't lie. When I see those trim, tone, marathon running people at the gym I'm not inspired--I'm pissed. I'm mad at me for letting my weight get away from me. I'm mad at them for making it look as easy as breathing. I'm mad at the machine I'm exercising on for not being magical and making me instantly fit. I'm mad at the old man next to me for forgetting his deodorant.
On Monday, I met with a nutritionist. We talked about my goals, my eating, my exercise. We talked about how I've struggled with my weight since having Elisabeth (8 years ago this coming Tuesday). We talked about how I'm an emotional eater and will find myself snacking and not even really realizing it. We discussed healthy eating and my target calories and exercise time. About being aware of my actions and knowing when I'm eating because I'm hungry or eating because of my emotions. How I need this healthy eating and exercise to become a habit. She said, "The 60 year old you will thank the 29 year old you for making these changes someday."
And I about fell over.
When I'm 60, I don't want to still be this overweight. I don't want to have bad knees and be winded by stairs. When I'm sixty, I don't want to have carried around all this extra weight for 40 years!!!!!!!!
It was a very surreal moment. I can say I want to lose weight as a good example for my girls, to fit into clothes that are sitting in my closet waiting for me, to climb the Incline up Pikes Peak before we move. But, the thing is, I don't want to be a fat old lady. I really don't.
I see my nutritionist in 3 weeks for a weigh in. I really liked her. She was funny and peppy and not so thin that I wanted to knock her off her chair and stomp on her flat belly. She was realistic with me and gave me a game plan that I can actually live with.
Cause that's the whole point. This isn't a diet. This is a lifestyle that I need to adopt with everything I have.
I am most thankful for the lovely people in my life who have been taking an interest in my journey. Fabulous friends who have offered support and their time to exercise with me. I am most grateful.
Here's to exercise and eating way more vegetables than I normally do!!! :)
"not so thin that I wanted to knock her off her chair and stomp on her flat belly."
ReplyDeleteOh my, you crack me up!!!
HERES TO CHANGE SISTAH!
Having worked at Weight Watchers for 5 years I can tell you have the right attitude! Losing weight is 90% mental...You have the tools and desire to succeed. My motivation is always that I don't want people to remember me when I die as that chubby girl. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
ReplyDeleteYou GO! YAY for veggies. Okay, I was just thinking today that I NEED to get back on the wagon... I fell off a few months ago. I need to start back up with going to the Y. It's funny, I was in such a good routine for a few months that I couldn't imagine NOT making the time for exercise. Now, I have been off of it for a few months and I can't imagine HOW on earth I will work it back in. Grrrr. Good luck and keep us posted!
ReplyDeleteFollowed your comment at TKW, so wanted to wish you well with your journey—and encourage you to love and accept where you are at, it's after that that I've always found things are free to change. Maybe you can imagine your 60 year old self putting her arms around you and telling you that she loves you and that everything is going to work out just fine (rather than feeling like you have to make her happy).
ReplyDeleteEither way, All Good Wishes & Namaste
i love you.
ReplyDelete