Part of it might be that I haven't gotten to my second cup of coffee yet (and lord knows I need at least two).
Maybe it's because today's after school schedule is all askew and I have two different places to be at the same time so I've had to recruit my friends to help me either watch the girls or pick them up. That always makes me feel flustered.
Perhaps it's the fact that I have unfinished projects that I want to be working on but haven't found a slot of time to work on them yet.
Whatever the reasons, I am not anchored today and I don't like it.
So, I shall be using you as my sounding board today. Aren't you the lucky one?
1. My forever battle with my weight has come to a head recently. After gaining 20 lbs. in a little over a month this summer, not being able to fit into my pants, and a severe blow to my self esteem, I went to see my doctor. Thank heavens that I have a doctor on base who is flipping fantastic. We talked for a long time about my weight, how I'm not happy, how it jumped without me seeming to have changed much of my routine. He talked with me for half an hour. Then he helped me make a plan. I had some blood work done to check all my inward workings (cholesterol, thyroid, blood count, sugar levels, the whole sha-bang). Then he made me an appointment with a nutritionist (which is in 2 weeks) and gave me a game plan for my exercise. He also wants to see me in 2 months so we can see how I'm doing and where we need to go from there.
I don't know why I thought it would be any different, but I was so relieved to be taken seriously. My self image has taken such a hit with this whole weight thing, I guess I expected him to say, "Quit eating so much, chubs." But, he didn't. He said he wanted me to be healthy and at my body's correct weight as much as I do. He said that I was still very young and that he was glad I came to see him at 29 and not 39 with these concerns. He reminded me that having children can really effect a woman's body in ways that she doesn't know how to adjust too and that eating and exercise habits that I'd done before to lose weight before the kids might not work with this new "post baby" body.
So, I've stepped up the exercising. The goal is 5-6 days a week of an hour of exercise with both cardio and weight lifting. Last week, I only got to about 3 days, but this week, I'm feeling it. It's going to take a while to make it a habit, but that's what I'm aiming for--making it a habit. It does help that Julia's been very excited about going to the Y's child care. She loves that place.
2. As much as I'm trying not to be, I am most frustrated with this potty training thing. Not near as frustrated as I was with Elisabeth when she was learning, but it's just such a tedious process. And there are the moms out there who are all "Well, my Gracie was trained in one weekend." Hooray for you, you bragger. I don't believe those moms, by the way. I don't believe for one fraction of a second that their child magically went from peeing in diapers all day long to peeing in a toilet perfectly in a matter of two days. They are either lying or not saying how often their child has accidents.
Anyway, Julia's doing ok with it. If we put her in cloth underwear, she's pretty good about telling us when she needs to go (with only a little bit of an accident in her pants). But, she's by no means potty trained. And, I guess I just don't want to spend my entire day in my house in the bathroom with her. Selfish? Yeah, probably. But, she's going to have to learn to go to the bathrooms out in public too, so that's what we do. She gets put in a pull-up (aka: froggy underwear, because I buy the generic Kroger pull-ups because I refuse to buy her Disney Princess pull-ups, but that's another post) and off we go.
Just tell me that she'll be potty trained by kindergarten. That's all I care about, really.
3. I've been thinking more about what I want to be when I grow up. I've been thinking about teaching again. Sometimes I really miss and other times I think...eh. I definitely want to finish my master's and I still toy with the idea of finishing it in special ed like I started before I was pregnant with Julia. But then...then I I get to thinking...maybe I want something different. Maybe a different field. Maybe a different career. I'm still piecing this together though.
Well, thanks for helping me cement at least a few of my thoughts today. But, I must go now because today is story day at the library. And then, I need to exercise, you know.
Sometimes it helps so much just putting everything out there, writing it down and letting it go :)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I think that people just don't tell you how much pee they're cleaning up from the floor. Tough we're done with diapers, I'm still finding puddles (in the tea set... doh... Fynn never peed in things, but Paige apparently finds it necessary!)