I am really struggling lately with how many parents seem to treat their doctors as if they are sleazy car salespeople instead of highly qualified, trained professionals who have taken years of intense schooling to take care of us and our children. I have heard countless mothers refer to their doctors as "idiots" or talk about them as though they are speaking about a Halloween goblin they pay to see if their child is sick or not.
Doctors are human. Sometimes they may make mistakes. I do realize that there will be times you may not agree with your doctor or even like how they are handling you or your child. When Julia was born, she had jaundice. Elisabeth was also a jaundiced baby and spent time in the hospital getting formula every other feeding and lounging in her baby suntanning bed (aka: incubator). Because I was a new mom and hadn't even nursed a week, I didn't realize how quickly my little one could go from the breast to the bottle and not look back. I wish I had talked to the doctor more about my wanting to nurse on demand while there instead of formula. So, when Julia had jaundice and it was worse than Elisabeth's, I kind of panicked. When we got to the hospital where they were going to keep her till her billirubin was down, I told the pediatrician and the nurses that I did not want to give her formula through a bottle. Thanks to my wonderful sister in law, Kyle was able to ask her friends from her parenting group about how to get Julia the formula without the bottle. The nurses seemed surprised (they'd obviously not seen someone insistent on finger feeding formula to avoid a bottle), but they were supportive and told all the nurses to not bring bottles to my room.
The pediatrician that we had for Julia was a very nice lady. She knew her stuff and how to get rid of jaundice--formula exclusively until the numbers went down. Formula tends to bind the bilirubin to it and get it out faster than breast milk. My problem with the situation was that Evan had long term jaundice as a baby and was a lovely shade of yellow until he was almost 3 months old. It's very common in breast fed babies. This doctor was not very breast feeding friendly in that she didn't seem concerned about Julia and I's feeding relationship. After 4 days in the hospital, Julia was sent home, but the doctor wanted her pricked every day to see that the levels went below normal. After two days, I called her office and told her that I wasn't going to be giving formula anymore and that I was no longer going to have her foot pricked. The nurse who took my call told me that, while this pediatrician I was working with really did have my child's best interest in mind (which I knew, she was always respectful and friendly and informed), the nurse thought I might work better with another doctor in the practice who was more nursing friendly. I set up an appointment to meet him and instantly felt at ease. We talked about long term jaundice, he agreed with me that there was no serious issues with her current levels, and to just do what I was doing. I had a wonderful report with him while we lived there and was very sad we moved.
That being said, I never called that first pediatrician an idiot. She knew her stuff. She knew she could get the jaundice to go away permanently and didn't understand why I didn't want to take that approach. As Julia's mother and food provider, I had my reasons. We disagreed, and that's okay. I will know how to approach jaundice again if/when we have a third baby.
Of course, parents are advocates of their children. You should speak up if you think something is wrong with your child that the doctor may not have noticed or seen as a concern. You know your kid, you are with them all day. Your doctor sees them only occasionally. Doctors depend on you to know the symptoms that your child has that aren't normal. They expect you to know how much sleep your kid gets, what they eat, what medicines they receive and when they receive them, etc. You are your child's care provider first and foremost. Doctors are professionals trained to help you when you don't know what to do next. They went into pediatrics to help children stay healthy.
I have encountered so many women online, at parenting groups, even at doctor's offices, who tell other mothers how the information they just received from their doctor concerning their child is just a bunch of crap. Doctors are just pill pushers for pharmaceutical companies. The doctor is just not using his common sense. Etc. etc.
Really? So, that doctor I just saw, who went to school for countless years, has done years of residency and field work, who knows vocabulary i can't even pretend to spell, that person is really trying to drug up my kid and trick me into spending money? Hm.... Funny, because I always thought that my child's doctor--who has my child's entire medical history in front of them, who knows more studies and has been to more continuing education classes concerning medicine then I as a lay person will, who is genuinely concerned about my concerns--was trying to help my kid. Huh. Guess I was wrong.
I just don't get when we started seeing every doctor as a quack. Why we tell other parents to go against what their doctor just recommended. I think one of the biggest things is that these parents who are doubting everything, aren't asking their doctors questions. I am all about being knowledgeable concerning vaccinations, medicines, treatments, etc. I think you should do your homework. I do not think it should all be online. While there are lots of sites out there that do have excellent advice and links to more excellent advice, the internet should not be your second opinion. Absolutely you should talk to other parents who may have been through similar experiences. They may have suggestions and advice you hadn't thought of. But, these parents are going by their personal experiences with their child who happens to be very different from your child. Obviously I am talking about serious medical issues (rashes, coughs that are seal like, weird growths that weren't there a day ago) and not whether you should use sunscreen with a spf of 50 or 100. Why can't you take all this new advice and consult your doctor? Why are we not leaning on them for medical advice anymore.
I have had endless conversations with my doctors about homeopathy alternatives to medicines that could be prescribed to me or my child. Almost every single one of my doctors has not only encouraged me but even suggested some I hadn't heard of. I am not shy about asking why my doctor is recommending something new (vitamin, treatment, drug) than I was expecting. They explain it to me, and if I ask more questions, they even get into more depth. I've had a doctor talk to me all about how doctors are required to continue their education in their field with conferences and classes that they have to pay out of their pocket because it's required to renew their medical licenses. And, being married to a lawyer who everyone assumes rolls in money, doctors don't start making big bucks right away because their loans are astronomical! And I asked what those classes cost--anywhere from $2000-$5000, depending on the class. Now, I'm not saying I feel bad for them for spending their own money and that we should all contribute to help out, that's stupid. But, I am saying that these people know what they're talking about. They are not taking those classes because they have nothing better to do. Not everything they discover will be beneficial, nothing man kind creates or discovers is always good for us, but they do it so that we can live longer. So our children don't die before they're 10 they way they used to so commonly even just 100 years ago. Do you know how excited parents were to give their child the small pox vaccination? Do you realize the effect of small pox before it? How many died or were so disfigured? They could help their kids now. It's an empowering feeling, especially to those in our grandparents generation who lost loved ones from the disease.
I guess what I'm trying to express with my giant rant is, while you may have bad experiences with your doctor, please don't assume that I have. And while you may not understand why someone's doctor recommended something, instead of calling that doctor names and then giving your own diagnosis and prescription, find out what that someone thinks about their doctor's advice. If a friend comes to you asking for advice on something their child is experiencing, give them all the advice you have and then end with, "but you should call your doctor and find out what he/she thinks". Because while you may know your stuff with your kid when they went through that, you are an expert on YOUR kid. And as we all know, no one is exactly the same, and there may be reasons that you are unaware of that the doctor advised what they advised.
Elisabeth was recently very sick (as noted in past posts with pictures) and I was talking about her symptoms and my call to the doctor's office with some people. I had a few people question how the nurse could just flippantly diagnose something on the phone, and then they proceeded to basically call my nurse and doctor an idiot. I was super offended. First off, that makes it seem like you think that I am an idiot for listening to the nurse, which is not nice. I talked extensively to that nurse. I've got two kids and been through this before, thanks, so I know what can and can not be treated with medicine. I figured that, even if it really isn't H1N1, then it's a virus that I can't do anything about it but treat the symptoms, which the nurse concurred. She gave me advice on what to do if it got serious and said multiple times throughout the conversation, "You can bring her in if you want us to see her. We'd be happy to take a look at her." I, as the first and foremost care provider for my child, did not think that necessary. And, I was right. She was super sick and her cough had me worried, but I followed my doctor and nurse's advice, and she's almost all the way better. Because they are professionals and really do have me and my child's best interests at heart. If they didn't, then they wouldn't be my care providers anymore.
Actually, we all did last year since I was a Storm Trooper and Evan was Obi Wan Kanobi.
