I love the mountains. I am amazed daily at how they never look the same. How one day the clouds completely cover them, the next it's just them and a perfectly crisp, blue sky. The girls are so used to me squealing, "OOH! Look at the mountains today!!!" that sometimes they beat me to it and are squealing for me to look.
I love being here. I've made some forever friends here. I've made a home here. I have a routine that, even when I'm bored with it and myself, I know it's mine. And even though it took me a year, I've made my peace with being a stay at home mom. I've squelched the demons telling me that without a job I'm without an identity. I've battled the thoughts that creep up telling me that I'm not contributing to our family. I've realized that being the at-home support system is contributing. We don't have to worry about whose turn it is to stay home with the sick kid. We don't have to worry about where the kids will go on days off of school when we both still have to work. We don't have to bicker about who's going to make dinner. It's me. And, yes, I do have more time to read and see friends throughout the day and stroll leisurely at the store if I so wish, but I also put in my time as the bread winner and the one with the crazy long hours. (Hm...apparently, I may have to re-battle those demons. I sound quite defensive.)
I guess what I'm saying is...I'm happy. Happy with our decision to join the Air Force. Happy with our first station. Happy with our girls. Happy with our home. Happy with the knowledge that we won't be here forever, but loving it while we are here.
It's still an adventure. It's still all so new. Where will we be stationed next? When will we move? Will I love it as much as I'm in love with Colorado? Who knows. But I'm going to soak it all in while I can and make sure that I don't leave this place regretting that I didn't take advantage of our life here.
I love the mountains. I am amazed daily at how they never look the same. How one day the clouds completely cover them, the next it's just them and a perfectly crisp, blue sky. The girls are so used to me squealing, "OOH! Look at the mountains today!!!" that sometimes they beat me to it and are squealing for me to look.
I love being here. I've made some forever friends here. I've made a home here. I have a routine that, even when I'm bored with it and myself, I know it's mine. And even though it took me a year, I've made my peace with being a stay at home mom. I've squelched the demons telling me that without a job I'm without an identity. I've battled the thoughts that creep up telling me that I'm not contributing to our family. I've realized that being the at-home support system is contributing. We don't have to worry about whose turn it is to stay home with the sick kid. We don't have to worry about where the kids will go on days off of school when we both still have to work. We don't have to bicker about who's going to make dinner. It's me. And, yes, I do have more time to read and see friends throughout the day and stroll leisurely at the store if I so wish, but I also put in my time as the bread winner and the one with the crazy long hours. (Hm...apparently, I may have to re-battle those demons. I sound quite defensive.)
I guess what I'm saying is...I'm happy. Happy with our decision to join the Air Force. Happy with our first station. Happy with our girls. Happy with our home. Happy with the knowledge that we won't be here forever, but loving it while we are here.
It's still an adventure. It's still all so new. Where will we be stationed next? When will we move? Will I love it as much as I'm in love with Colorado? Who knows. But I'm going to soak it all in while I can and make sure that I don't leave this place regretting that I didn't take advantage of our life here.
i'm happy you are here. i heart you.
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