So Very Two

I realize that I just recently posted to tell you all how Vivian is a menace trying to torture me to death by being two years old, but, you guys, seriously...the child is insanely exhausting. 

Let me think about where to begin...

Today I bribed her into letting me put her hair into a ponytail by giving her a piece of gum. Later in the day, I bribed her to stop chewing on rocks she'd put in a cup by giving her a piece of gum. (I buy a lot of gum)

Yesterday, I was cooking dinner (Pioneer Woman's Chicken Pot Pie, in case you were curious) (and, yes, it was delicious!) and it was just me and Vivian because Evan had taken the other two to their respected tball/softball practices. I was getting ready to make the pie crust for the top of the pot pie (Pioneer Woman's Pie Crust recipe, of course!) and went to grab the butter I needed except I couldn't find the half stick I'd left out. Now, I am naturally forgetful so I started looking in the places I might leave the butter--refrigerator, by the mixer, all the counter space. I was starting to get frustrated when it occurred to me who was home with me. Not looking, but hearing her making noises from the living room, I asked: "Vivian, do you have my butter?"

"Umm...."

I walk in and she is sitting in Evan's recliner with butter she'd dug out with her grubby little toddler fingers smeared all over his chair.

 She is never still. Never. She still sleeps with us half the night and even in her sleep she is just such a wiggle worm. She needs gross motor activities on daily basis or she is a beast. I am so, so thankful for our trampoline and large yard. Sometimes she will wrestle with Evan or run laps around the inside of the house on days when we can't get outside. I am always so relieved when they go to the YLand at the Y because it's like the playlands in restaurants and she can climb and slide while I'm working out.

 She is just so contrary. I will ask her to throw away the banana peel she just carelessly flung onto the couch and she will manically laugh as she tells me no. But, I tell her, "No, Mommy wants to throw it away," and she will scream, "NO! YINYIN (translation: Vivian) DO IT!". Sometimes trying to trying to use reverse psychology to get her to comply from the get-go backfires, though. You just never know!

 She's really cute when she's sleeping though. Or when she's restrained in a car seat.

 

 Taking her in public is like setting my pet tornado loose on mankind. Today at the library, I was in line to check out books. Again, we were alone (having the older two around is a HUGE HELP when anywhere with Vivian because they are fabulous older sisters who are fully aware that the youngest one is insane in the membrane), so every time I would try to corral her I'd end up losing my place in line. Finally, I gave up and just prayed she wouldn't tear the ding dong place down. After she tipped over the two gaming chairs in the video game area and yelled at me while sitting upside down in one and pointing to the second chair, "MOMMY! THIS-A ONE FOR YOU!", she proceeded to bring me every recycling and garbage can in the library. You'd think there wouldn't be that many cans in a somewhat small library, but you'd be wrong. She managed to bring me 5 before I was finished. How lucky am I that the librarians found her cute and were so sweet about her wreaking havoc?! I reassured them that she trashes my home as well.

 Don't get me wrong, the kid is a hoot! She likes to have us tie pieces of fabric around her neck so she can be Super Bunny and then she yells out, "SUPER BUNNY, AWAY!!!" and runs laps around the house.

Her love of dump trucks is so sweet. She asks every morning to dress up (translation: get dressed) so she can go get her pal Mac and go play trucks. We have a book with little poems in them and one is called Dump Truck. She has the whole thing memorized.

She is really stingy with her hugs, kisses, and I love yous, so we all feel honored when she actually consents to being kissed and hugged or actually tells you she loves you too after you tell her.

 Sometimes I weigh the pros and cons to taking her places because we have a very small window of what we all refer to as "Vivian Time", which means we have about X amount of time on any given errand day before she loses her mind in public and goes into full destruction/tantrum mode. If you were visiting us you would often hear us say, "If we go both of those places, we may be pushing our luck with Vivian Time" or "We are wasting precious Vivian Time!" or "We're almost out of Vivian Time, let's just go home after this."

There is a lot of stress when using Daylight Vivian Time.

We're going to keep her, I promise. I just...need reassured that I am going to survive this child being two.

And wine. I need you all to tell the Wine Fairy that my house needs stocked ASAP.