Sisters

It's interesting to have three girls and watch their sibling relationships unfold. Each of our three have such unique, strong personalities from the other two that the dynamics of their relationships revolve a lot around these differences.

Elisabeth and Julia have a relationship that is completely different than Julia and Vivian's. E & J are so polar opposite in almost every aspect that they tend to not understand (or sometimes don't try to understand) where the other person is coming from. Yes, part of it is the age difference (5.5 years apart), but I think that even if they were closer in age we'd still be seeing the same level of bickering and frustration. Elisabeth is not a crier and Julia cries a lot (all day. every day. over everything). Elisabeth is not cuddly and Julia needs lots of hugs and kisses to show and feel loved. Both are equally bossy and stubborn. But, when they do get along, it is like sighting a unicorn--it is unbelievably beautiful and sweet. 

Cooking together.

It was really hard on Julia when Elisabeth no longer wanted to play house or dolls with her. Sometimes I would encourage Elisabeth to play just because it's what families do for each other--they play or participate in activities that may seem boring but make the other family member happy. Recently, after Julia came bawling to me that Elisabeth wouldn't play house with her, I told Julia that she needed to think of new things that she and Elisabeth could do together now that Elisabeth was older. We brainstormed for awhile and came up with reading books, coloring, drawing, cooking, and watching shows like Full House or Little House on the Prairie. It still made Julia sad, but she was able to get Elisabeth to read a book together with her and both of their needs as siblings were met.

To be honest, their relationship is a lot like the one I have with my sister. We're just so completely opposite in almost all areas of interests and how we deal with things that bickering and teasing seemed to be the only thing we could do well together. Helping Elisabeth and Julia get along and compromise comes easy to me because I rely on tools I learned to use or wish had been shown to me in how to deal with my sister or how I wish she would have dealt with me.

Which is why the relationship that Julia and Vivian have is so amazing to me--it's like the sibling relationships that others talk about where their kids are best friends. That's how Julia and Vivian are; these two are inseparable. Only 3.5 years apart, they completely click. Even though they also have very different personalities, their personalities seem to compliment each other well. Vivian completely worships the ground Julia walks on. I often joke that Vivian wants to be Julia when she grows up.

Putting warm pancakes on her cheeks. Weirdo.

Monkey see, Monkey do.

Actually, I'm not too far off base. Whatever Julia declares she wants to be when she grows up, Vivian replies that she wants to be Julia's helper dog.

Julia: I'm going to be a science teacher when I grow up!
Vivian: I gonna be Juju's science teacher helper dog!

(Vivian really wants to grow up and be a dog. Or a baby.)

And Julia loves loves loves being a big sister. She likes teaching Vivian and having a built in playmate. Julia took to being a big sister very quickly and very seriously.


Things that they they do that Elisabeth and Julia never really did: wear matching clothes, have the exact same toys, watch the same shows, and enjoy sharing a room.

I realize that they have been together at home more than Elisabeth and Julia ever were. Elisabeth was starting Kindergarten when we had Julia, so she was always at school or involved in activities for as long as Julia can remember. With Vivian, Julia has always been home, especially since we homeschooled Julia for Kindergarten and are now doing so for the rest of first grade. I am sure that plays a certain part in the closeness they share.

Now that isn't to say that their relationship isn't loud and bickering. If you have been in our house longer than ten minutes you will hear them screaming and whining to and about each other. They're siblings and, no matter how much I wish it away, bickering is going to occur. (Heck, even Elisabeth and Vivian bicker and they are 9 years apart!!)

Which leads me to Elisabeth and Vivian's relationship. They are enough apart in years that they've never been playmates. Vivian told me the other day that Elisabeth was a grown up, and I am sure to her little toddler self that Elisabeth does seem grown up. Ebeth is next in command if Evan and I aren't around and both Julia and Vivian feel safe in new situations if they know their Didi (aka: Elisabeth) is going to be there with them.

Recently, Evan's sister graciously offered to keep all three girls for an overnight at her house (because she LOVES us!). Vivian had never been away from both Evan and me overnight before and I explained to her that we would not be staying with her at Aunt Kyle's house. "Oh. Will Didi be there?" I said she would and Vivian was totally fine going.

However, where Vivian refers to Julia as her friend ("Mommy, where is my friend Julia?"), she simply calls Elisabeth "my Didi". Elisabeth is hers and that's all there is to it. Elisabeth goes to school, Elisabeth can rock her to sleep, give her a bath, cook her food, and reach things Vivian can't reach. Elisabeth also likes to wrestle and tickle, likes to run around outside and likes to push Vivian on walks in her little pink car. Vivian has an older sister that is almost like a third parent but still is silly and plays with her like another kid. It's a sibling relationship I like to watch unfold.

It makes me curious to see how each relationship with this new baby will be. Only 3 years between him and Vivian, 7 years between him and Julia, and 12.5 years between him and Elisabeth. Not to mention, the dynamic between brothers and sisters is bound to be different than sisters and sisters.

I do know one thing, though--this baby boy better be ready to wrestle his big sister Vivian because she has already said countless times that she can't wait to wrestle him. (Lord, have mercy.)