Solitude.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling grumpy.  Never mind that it was my sleep in day and I slept until 9:30.  Never mind that Evan and the girls were in a fabulous mood.  I was a big, fat, pregnant crab.  I wanted to wake up in a small apartment that only housed me, where I didn't have to talk or interact in anyway with anyone.

Ever have those days?

 Thankfully, my family did not take it personally.  They gave me some space and went about their (annoyingly) jolly ways. It really wasn't personal, but some days I just long for solitude.  I long to be in my own little bubble where I have no one depending on me, monopolizing my time, expecting anything from me. On those days, I would stay in bed as long as I liked.  I'd wander into the kitchen and make 2 eggs over medium with an english muffin lathered in butter.  I would curl up on the couch, cover myself in blankets and lose myself in a book.  I'd have a hot cup of never ending coffee at my disposal, followed by endless glasses of Evan's sweet tea when I was done drinking coffee.  I'd probably watching mindless tv while crocheting beautiful scarves and afghans. I'd take a nap and start all over again, never having had to talk to anyone in real life or on the phone. I'd take a walk (cause my pregnant body would not be tired or swollen) and then go to bed early.  That is my ideal isolation day.. Saturday was one of those days.

 But, for every one of those isolation days I long for, I am given a day filled with silliness and giggles; questions and bickering; random hugs and a few stolen kisses; exasperation at ears that won't listen and a feeling of overflowing love at a glance of two sisters getting along in a loving manner; small kicks and pushes from the newest of our babies growing in my belly.

As I was reminded quite recently (after complaining about a certain 3 year old who must have tabs on my whereabouts at all times) by someone who used to have a little boy who was most demanding in the attention department, I will miss all this someday.  I will soon have teenagers instead of small children.  And even those teenagers won't be sticking around long before I will have grown up children.  I hear that happens much faster than I can imagine.

So, I shall take these days of overwhelming madness and try to appreciate them (though I know full well, I probably won't the majority of the time). I will try to minimize my need to hermit away because some day I will have plenty of hermit days...and I will probably long for small giggles and little hands that instinctively reach for mine.

It's hard being a Juju.

Julia has been exploding into a preschooler lately. 

She has an insatiable appetite for letters and numbers.  She is constantly asking me what different letters are, making me trace my finger along the words while I read, helping her count past 20, and insisting on me writing the numbers and ABCs so she can trace them.

Her verbal language is expanding too. She is figuring out more words and better sentence structure, but that makes her stutter as she tries to say the words in her head outloud.  When she stutters, it totally breaks my heart.  Yes, I know it is totally age appropriate.  Yes, I do realize that just this past spring break she was a stuttering fool when she was bursting with new words and that the stuttering went away once she had it mastered.  Yes, my mother-in-law is a speech pathologist and at my disposal for any questions or concerns (she is not concerned by any means).  But, that doesn't mean that listening to her stumble over her words is not the most heart wrenching thing to listen to.  I have had to tell Elisabeth that we don't interrupt her or try to finish her sentences for her; mainly because that pisses Julia off to no end and usually causes a full blown tantrum, but also because she needs to be able to figure it out without pressure.

And, as with every developmental growth, Julia has been a bear to deal with. Julia has also been determined to do things on her own.  She gets herself dressed and undressed.  She uses her stool to try to reach what she can so she doesn't have to ask for help.  She is furious (FURIOUS) if you at all try to do something for her when she is determined to do it solo.  And her temper?  Boy howdy, that girl is a tiny volcano.  We have really had to scramble to figure out ways to deal with her outbursts. Obviously, hitting or kicking are not allowed, but when she's mad, she needs to physically let it out (unlike our Ebeth who either needs to talk/cry it out or pouts somewhat quietly).  So, we've been letting her leave the room/table/area where her anger started and do her own thing until she can calmly come back and be human again.  Sometimes, when she has decided to throw/slam/destroy things in her anger, we give her the option of going to her room to chill out by herself or with our help.  Honestly, she usually asks us to come with.  Once she's in her room, she snuggles into her bed and we read books or cuddle or she cries until she can talk about why she's so mad.  She is much more of a "3 year old" than Elisabeth ever was. As I've said a million bajillion times, they are so opposite of each other.

Julia's definitely on her way to being her own independent person, even if she does need to have me in her line of vision at all times.

I am most curious to see how she will do when this new baby I am growing in my belly joins the outside world.

Why I am thankful we kept our stupid cats.

Our cats were an impulse buy in June of 2009.  We'd always promised Elisabeth that we would get cats when we moved into a house instead of our apartment.  Evan and I had both grown up with cats and enjoyed them over dogs.  So, one day, while out and about exploring Colorado Springs, we decided to stop at a Petsmart and see the cats there. We ended up leaving with a 1.5 year old male Tabby cat that we named Roosevelt and a 4 month old gray and white kitten we named Figaro.

Now, I am sure that for those of you who own pets, I don't need to state the obvious; that taking care of pets is much more time consuming than being a child whose parents take care of pets.  Yeah...we know that now.  Honestly, after the first couple of months, we were tempted to give them back.  They both had their claws, so they were scratching the crap out of our furniture.  We weren't sure how'd they do being left alone in the house at night, so we shut them in the basement every night, which led to them climbing the insulated walls and tearing them to shreds.  I didn't realize that cats could be so picky about when their litter needs changed or that they'd find new places to pee if they felt there was no more room in their litter box.  We also  found out that Roosevelt prefers to be outside about 75% of the day, which we were unsure about since he tended to hop the fence and wander the neighborhood.

But, the thing that has kept us from every getting rid of the cats (who still claw the furniture and meow at our door at night to be let in so they can sleep at our feet) is that they are so good with our kids. Actually, they are good with almost everyone's kids, because now that we live in Texas and have no fence, they wander around our yard and everyone else's yards.  Roosevelt is a total pet junkie and will roll onto his back for belly rubs the minute any one comes over to say hi to him.

 He is kind of camouflaged here (he's at the base of the tree that Julia is climbing):

 but Roosevelt follows Julia around like a puppy.  They honestly play tag together outside.  It is hilarious to watch.  He lets her pick him up and carry him around willy nilly and never fights or tries to get away.

 He even lets her jump with him on our little trampoline.

 He is friendly and playful and is Julia's buddy.  He likes to be in the middle of everyone and the neighborhood kids love it when they see him outside.  Of course, they all flip the eff out when he scales the trees, but I think I have convinced them all that he is just fine because, you know...he's a cat.  They do that kind of thing.

 As for this massive cat:

he's not near as friendly and bold, but he is also very good with the kids. If they can catch him, he goes limp in their arms and allows them to carry him around (which is hard for Juju because he is "sooo heavy").  Plus, he and Roosevelt are very much best friends for life.  They snuggle and are usually always hanging out together.  I mean look at them:

That is true cat love people.  How could we ever separate them?

Preschool

Julia will be 4 in June.  We've always planned on her going to preschool at 4 because...well, because we think she'd love it.  Plus I'm an advocate of preschool (um, I have taught it for goodness sakes) and know the benefits of being apart of a preschool class to a little one.  If we were still in Colorado, she could have even started this year (at age 3), but I probably would have kept her home until she was 4.

 But, here in Texas, at the school district Elisabeth attends, preschool is not offered until age 4 and it is an all day program.  Yep, all day, as in, 7:45AM-3:00PM.  That is the same schedule my 3rd grade Elisabeth has.

Evan and I discussed it and we just can't justify sending Julia there for an all day preschool program. It's a long day for someone so little (and four years old is quite little, which I think people forget).  I looked at the schedule on the school's website, and there are a lot of things that she would love, but eating lunch and napping at school at age 4 feels more like I'm sending her to day care instead of preschool.  It would be different if I needed her in day care, then that full day preschool would be a godsend because it's free through the school district, but I don't.  However, I am going to call the school and see if just taking her for half the day is an option, because if it is, then we'll definitely sign her up.  I do think she'd love preschool, just not a full day's worth.

 The thing is, I feel all this guilt about her not experiencing preschool, but I never went. I started the whole school experience when I walked into my first day of Kindergarten.  And, it's not like I'm worried about Julia's development or learning abilities--she's pretty smart and inquisitive with no red flags that would suggest she needs any early intervention.  I used to be concerned about her timidness in situations where she had to leave me behind (because the girl might love my company to no end), but enrolling her in dance class has really shown us that she is fully capable of being in an environment without me when it's something she loves to do (and she does lovelovelove to dance!).

Plus, um, I have my bachelor's (and some master's classes!) in EDUCATION.  I am fully aware what she needs to know to be ready for Kindergarten and am pretty sure that I could, you know, teach her things needed to know before she steps into her first day of Kindergarten.

It just seems so odd keeping her at home with me another year when Elisabeth started day care at the age of 2.5 and loved every single minute of it.  Ebeth was begging us to go to school so she could meet friends!!  Granted, I worked in the same day care (in the room right next door!) and was able to see her all day, every day.  She also flourished in that kind of environment because the girl thrives off of interacting with other people.  Plus, we had no choice--Evan was in law school and I had to work to make ends meet.  It's just different with Julia.  I'm home all day and don't have to work.  She has never been in a day care experience at all (and I don't think she would have taken to it the same way as Elisabeth did).

So, overall, I feel much better with our decision that, if half day preschool is not an option (because paying tons of moola for a private one is not something we're willing to do...mainly because everything here is a million miles away and also because private preschool is EXPENSIVE!), then Julia gets to stay home with me and the new baby next year.  She can start Kindergarten (which is also full day) when she is five.

Exploring San Antonio with Memaw and Pepaw

While my parents were here visiting, we took them to some new places we'd been waiting to visit until their arrival.  One of the nice things about living somewhere new is acting like a tourist because, well, we are!!!  The weather was so lovely and we were able to do everything we'd planned.

One of the things we'd been waiting to go and see was right on Ft Sam Houston (and just mere blocks from our house).  It's Ft Sam's Quadrangle. Built in 1876, this place is still actively used.  

 We'd been waiting to visit this place until my mom came because one of the attractions of the Quadrangle is the wildlife that live in the park in the middle.  There are deer and lots of birds and, if you bring food, you can feed them.  We didn't tell my mom about the deer (which are her favorite animal) until we had walked into the Quadrangle's grounds and she saw them in the distant.  She was most excited.

 Elisabeth was able to feed at least 3 deer.  They seemed to really like her...and the apples I'd brought along.

 Eventually, one of the deer actually ate from my mom's hand, which totally made her day.

 There were tons of geese and peacocks roaming the grounds too.

 My dad super loved all the history.  There were plaques everywhere telling about all the things the Quadrangle had been used for and the important people who had worked or visited it.  This huge tree:

 was here before they even built the buildings, so the Quadrangle was built around the tree.  It is huge and gorgeous.  It was fun and I told the girls we'd definitely be back and maybe next time we could have a picnic.

 Across from The Alamo is Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, which Elisabeth was beyond thrilled to find. We told her that Pepaw would definitely want to visit that with her, so we spent a day there.  It ended up being much more interesting than I anticipated. I actually learned.  Here are the girls sitting in the largest tire ever made for use:

 They also had cool mind-trick attractions.  This was a tunnel that spun (with lights that my camera's flash whited out) while you crossed a bridge.  It was very funny to watch people losing their balance while crossing. My sister was convinced that the bridge moved too, not just the spinning tunnel, until I made her stand with me at the end and watch people go through.  I think the girls (and my mom) went through at least 3 or 4 times.

 Part of the Ripley's Believe It or Not tickets included going to the wax museum next door.  Ebeth was ecstatic to see the Harry Potter crew.

 And Abraham Lincoln.  (Have I told you that she is really hoping the baby is born on Lincoln's birthday on February 12th?)

Of course, since I do have a membership (!!!), we had to take my parents to visit the zoo.  It was a pretty cool afternoon when we went, so lots of animals were actually awake and active...including the BEARS!!!!

 This bear:

 is 30 years old. She has a sign by her area that says, due to her age, she is allowed to do whatever she wants, which includes spending days inside the inner pen area if that's what she so desires.  Elisabeth was most excited to actually see her since she's never been out the few times we've been before.

It was a fun visit. The girls are already thinking of new things to do with them the next time they fly down.

Memaw and Pepaw come to Texas

My parents came to visit us the day after Elisabeth's birthday and left this past Tuesday.  They were the first ones to visit us in our new home!  The girls were most excited to show off their rooms and our house. Since my sister and her husband are also stationed in San Antonio, we had an early Thanksgiving together.  We haven't had a Thanksgiving with all of us in 6 years.  My mom was on cloud nine.  Evan grilled our turkey and it was THE BEST TURKEY THAT HAD EVER BEEN EATEN!!!!  Not kidding, we are grilling our turkey every year from now on.  And! It only took 2.5 hours.  

 What I enjoy about my parents visiting (and Evan's parents as well) is that there is a lot of time hanging around the house and playing with my kids.  Yes, we go places (and I'll tell you more about that tomorrow in  another post) but there is a lot of reconnecting time--something the girls and our parents need since we aren't around each other a lot anymore.

My parents bought the girls this awesome race car track (from QVC, of course) that was a huge hit. Julia can not wait to show Ethan it when he comes in December.

 The weather was lovely the entire time they were here.  It was chilly in the mornings and warmed up nicely by the late afternoon.  It even rained, which my parents had never seen in their previous visits to my sister's house (Terra and John have been stationed here for over 2 years).

 Since they were here the day after her birthday, my parents took Elisabeth to a Build-A-Bear equivalent at the mall and let her and Julia pick out a stuffed animal to make and dress.  Elisabeth has been asking for one for a couple of years now and it was a perfect gift to come from my parents because they love that kind of thing.

 Elisabeth picked a bunny that was like her friend Mabel's.

 Julia picked a sheep and declared it a boy.  A boy sheep who played soccer.

 One of my favorite moments during their visit was when my dad and Julia were playing outside (Julia claimed Pepaw as her own personal playmate and drug him outside to play as much as possible); they were sitting on chairs facing each other.  I hurried and grabbed my camera and took some pictures through my kitchen window.

 It turns out they were telling each other stories about magic beans and Jack and the Beanstalk.  It was so sweet and cute.  Julia was belly laughing and adding things of her own to the stories.  It as a very sweet moment.

It was a nice visit.  The next time they come to visit, they will be here to meet the newest member of our family...how weird is that?!

Flowers just for you!

I realize that a lot of you are seeing snow today.  I thought you might want to see what's blooming down here in San Antonio.  Don't hate! You all had a gorgeous, fall colored autumn and I had tons of jealousy about that!

 My parents left yesterday, so today was a hanging out around the house kind of day.  My poor Julia is such a beast when her routine is messed up.  Don't get me wrong, she super loved having her Memaw and Pepaw around to comply with her every wish and whim, but she is a routine oriented child and she was melting down a bit by those last two days of their visit.  She slept for 2.5 hours today for her nap. So, even though I had a couple of errands I needed to run, we just stayed home today.  I did laundry and she watched tv and trashed the living room playing house.

 The last 3 days have been cloudy here!  Dude, it is never cloudy here.  It's even rained sporadically and today never went above the 60s in temperature.  It was awesome. Of course, this weekend it's supposed to creep back up to the 80s, so I'll take this chilly weather for as long as it will stay.  And, even though I am not a fan of the heat and humidity, it is super nice to still let the girls play outside almost every day. Yesterday they played outside from after we dropped my parents off at the airport until supper time at 6:30. Just swinging and riding bikes and jumping rope.  I guess Texas does have a few advantages.

 Friday is Veteran's Day and Evan and Elisabeth both have the day off!!!!  We're going to hang out and go see a movie in the theater (Puss in Boots, which Ebeth has been begging to see).  We don't see movies in the theaters often, which my mom finds appalling.  Growing up, we'd go see a movie almost every weekend (and my parents pretty much still do), but, honestly, I can think of better ways to spend our time and money. I'd much rather go to a museum or try out a new hiking trail at a park we haven't been to yet or go visit some bookstore I haven't had the pleasure of meeting. So, going to the theater is a big deal for my kids and I like that.  

 I just watched the movie "Never Let Me Go" based off the book of the same name by Kazuo Ishiguro.  I read the book earlier this year and have had the movie dvr-ed for a while now. I have to say, the movie did a decent job in trying to create what the book was. I am by no means a Kiera Knightly fan, but she did a great job with her role as Ruth.  I also about drove myself batty trying to figure out who was playing the grown version of Tommy and had to wikipedia it--turns out it was the guy who played Eduardo in "Social Network".  If you have read the book (Rachel, I am staring at you...) then I'd definitely recommend the movie.

Well, it is time for some dinner making.  Hope you enjoyed the gorgeous flowers I stumbled upon this weekend.  :)