Julia is 6.

Six years ago today, our Julia came into the world. She was my second baby and showed me that I could, in fact, love another child just as much as my first.  

 She made Elisabeth a big sister.

 Evan fell instantly in love with her and vice versa.

From the get-go, Julia was demanding. She needed cuddled, loved, rocked, nursed, swung, swayed, and slung twenty four hours a day. Her sweet smiles made up for it, but there was a time when I was pretty sure I was going to expire from lack of sleep. Julia was definitely that "high needs" baby I had heard so much about from others.

She was a pacifier baby. An eyes on me constantly baby. A has the ability to roll, crawl, move, but chose not to baby.

 But, regardless of her high demands, Julia has always been generous with her love. Hugs and kisses are still her favorite gift to give and receive from those she loves.

Julia is passionate. Currently, that comes out in talking excitedly (and LOUDLY) in exclamation points, crumbling into a pile of tears if she is upset or frustrated, and being enthusiastic in everything she tries to accomplish. While that passion is often overwhelming, it is something that, once honed, will serve her well in life.

Julia is my sleeper. Lord help us if that girl does not get in her 12 hours of much needed rest.

 Julia is a reader, which you all know makes me endlessly happy. She can read on her own now and will occasionally read quietly to herself, but as with most things, she prefers we read to her.

 Julia favorites:
Color--Pink
Food--Apples
Drink--Water
Book--Junie B. Jones
Movie--Frozen
TV shows--Play doh YouTube videos

 Julia loves to: dance, sing, ride her scooter, dig in mud, play with play doh, be outside with her friends, go to the pool, visit the library, make art projects, draw, color, dress up, play Legos with Evan, have tea parties, play catch, help me cook, make pancakes on Sunday with Evan, listen to Elisabeth read to her, make Vivian giggle.

 I think today may have been so bittersweet today because, of the three of my children, Julia was my baby the longest. Elisabeth and Vivian are both of the mentality that they can do it themselves and quickly shed off a lot of "baby" habits early (naps, pacifiers, being held, etc.). Julia is slow to change. She napped until the month before she turned 5, has the most lovies out of the three, needed held and snuggled longer than the other two. But, lately, I've been noticing her slowly starting to grow up.

She's gotten taller and has lost all that toddler chub in her thighs, arms, hands, and even her cheeks. She's not relying on us as much for things, taking matters into her own hands, becoming slowly more independent. Julia is less shy, more outgoing. Watching her go from a preschooler to a truly big kid has been an amazing journey full of lots of heavy sighs, tears, laughter, and joy (and those are just my reactions to it all!!!).

 Happy sixth birthday, my JujuB. Stay funny, sweet, and goofy.

May you always be joyful, full of laughter, and awe at the wonder of the world around you.

 I can not wait to see what this year has in store for you.

 My beautiful, sweet girl.

Mornings with Juju and V

I have come to the realization that I am not productive until at least 10:00am.  No matter how much sleep I get, not matter how great of a mood I am in, no matter my grand plans for the day, unless I have an appointment that must be kept, I am not getting out of my pajamas until 10:00am.  If it's a weekend?  More like noon.

I find it humorous that things I have subconsciously known about myself seem to become definite truths for me the older I get and the more I just start excepting that I am who I am.

Deep, huh?

This ends up being pretty conductive to homeschooling Julia.  How you ask?  Well, first off, she gets to wake up naturally.  Some days, that is before 7am, some days she gets up after 8:30.  There is no rush to eat, no "Hurry up!" to get dressed.  Julia's personality responds better to non rushing anyway.  

 We have a little school schedule that is working well right now.  We get dressed (no school in pajamas, house rules), she sets up the chairs in the play area for calendar time.  We say a morning prayer, go over the date, day, month, year, sing 3 songs of her choice (sometimes she even makes one up and serenades me), and then it's off to do some table work.  Right now, my focus is on penmanship and getting used to sitting to do writing.  I had an ABC workbook she flew through and now we're working on number penmanship. We do art, cutting, and reading for about 45 minutes to an hour. But, here's the kicker for me--Julia's started reading.  No, we aren't working on it, she has just naturally been trying to sound things out and now can read simple sentences.  It's amazing to watch it all unfold.

I realize that it seems ridiculous that a college educated former elementary school teacher seems amazed that she can, you know, TEACH her kid, but I am amazed.  I felt very insecure going in to this endeavor. I am a firm believer that kids don't need pushed to learn, even those who struggle. I also believe that parents are children's first and most important teachers, but that kind of all went to the wayside when we decided that keeping Julia home for kindergarten was best for her and us. I am very, very thankful that what I have always believed came to fruition with Julia.

We still make it to the Y a few days a week. The girls love going to the Y.  They have little friends there and know the teachers well.

 Half the time they don't even say good bye to me. Two days ago, for the first time, Vivian told me "No, Mommy, no leave." She was playing cars and did not want to stop.

 Both girls usually bring a toy to the Y to play with while they are there.  I'm sure you are shocked to know that Pink Baby is usually Julia's toy of choice.  Wednesday, as I waited for them to finish playing cars, I asked Julia where Pink Baby was.  "She's in the swing."  Dude, I thought a real baby was in the swing because it was on!  Nope, the teachers let Julia put Pink Baby in real baby things:

 This is how we roll at the Y:

 This morning, Julia decided to do an art project for school first. She had a wooden bird house from this summer that we never got around to painting.

 Of course, Vivian must do all the things that Julia does, so I got out some paints and paper for her too.

 I'm pretty sure Vivian will just skip kindergarten.  She's got two older sisters that love to teach her.  In fact, I could probably just hire them to teach Vivian and I could stay in my pajamas reading books EVEN LONGER!!!

I joke, I joke...I'd totally get dressed and read. Gotta keep up appearances.

Poop.

Julia turned 4 years old last month. We had a small celebration with our friends in Colorado while we were visiting there and then celebrated again on her actual birthday at home.  She asked for a bunny cake this year, so I ended up making two--a pink one for the Colorado party and a brown one for her birthday.

 Julia is still Julia--fiesty, sweet, big emotions, smart, funny, stubborn, spunky.  She still sleeps with her nubs, pink bunny, and blankie.  She loves to draw, color, skip, jump on the trampoline, play with baby dolls, ride her bike.  She still holds my hand when we walk places.  She still gives hugs as hard as she can.  She still loves apple juice and Cheezits.

 Julia only wears skirts or dresses (even when playing t-ball this spring).  Her favorite color is pink and she loves painting her nails.  She loves to dig in the dirt and help cook in the kitchen.  She loves to dance and play ball.

 Julia also is scared of bugs.  While watching Evan and Julia playing catch, she unknowingly put her foot in an ant hill. Evan said that hundreds of ants were crawling up her legs and biting her by the time he ran to her.  He beat off as many of the ants as he could and carried her home bawling in his arms to rinse her off and put medicine on her bites. She has been out-of-her-mind scared of bugs (especially ants) ever since.

 Another one of Julia's fears that we've been dealing with for over a year now is her fear of pooping in the toilet. Over a year ago, Julia showed interest in using the toilet.  We let her wear underwear and she started urinating in the toilet pretty regularly.  She was very proud. She would not, however, poop in the toilet.  She would either poop in her froggies (aka: Pull-ups with pictures of frogs on them) or in her underwear.  One day, while over at our friend Rachel's house, Julia was sitting on the toilet waiting for me to bring her a froggie.  She needed to poop and did NOT want to use the toilet.  Well,she ended up pooping in the toilet...which hurt her.  She cried and cried.  We didn't push pooping in the toilet after that, trying to give her time to get over the fear of pooping.

Weeks turned to months and Julia did everything in her little power to not poop in the toilet.  She basically trained herself to wait for nap time and bed time and just poop in her froggie.  We didn't really push it too much.  I had dealt with kids whose parents were so micro-mananging about potty training when I taught preschool age kids that the kids ended up being super constipated and miserable.  I did not want that for my Juju.

Around Halloween, Julia declared that she would poop in the toilet at Christmas time.  As Christmas time crept up, Julia changed her mind and declared she would not poop in the toilet until she was a big sister.  We all said ok, no pressure. Once Vivian was born, we encouraged Julia to at least try pooping in the toilet before asking for a froggie.  She said ok, but she didn't really try very hard.  Then, one day, while going "tinkles", she accidentally ended up pooping a good sized poop.  We all cheered, but Julia started hysterically crying.  She did not want us congratulating her.  She was mortified that her body had betrayed her and allowed a poop out in the toilet.

After that incident, Julia stopped pooping completely.  She wouldn't go in the toilet. She wouldn't poop in a froggie.  After a week of no pooping, Julia started complaining of tummy aches. After two weeks, she was leaving smears in her pants, but still refused to poop. She was getting open wounds from having to be wiped/having poop on her bottom so much. So, now she really didn't want to tell us if she needed to or had pooped because we'd have to wipe her and that was such a traumatic ordeal.  Her screams when being changed made me cry from helplessness. She would leak poop and not even realize she'd done it. If we tried to make her sit on the toilet, she would scream like we were forcing her to put her hands on an open flame. She was terrified.   After almost a month, Julia wasn't even passing gas. Her stomach was rock hard. She was lethargic, grumpy, miserable.

I had avoided seeing a doctor because I knew they'd want to give her an enema and  I couldn't imagine Julia's reaction to that idea. Her biggest fear was pooping and we'd be forcing her to poop by putting medicine in her poop hole (as she calls it).  I took her to a chiropractor, I asked other moms for help and ideas, I googled, I pushed water and gave her fiber, but when we got to that month mark, I was frightened for Julia's insides.  So, we made an appointment with one of the pediatricians on base. The doctor was very nice, especially when I started bawling my eyes out in her office. She talked to Julia about needing to poop, why it was important, etc. Julia nodded and was so, so little sitting there in her pretty dress and favorite red shoes. The doctor told me she didn't need to take x-rays to be able to tell that Julia was completely full of poop--she could tell just by feeling her stomach.  As I'd predicted, she prescribed an enema and also mirilax to help keep her stools soft. The doctor also diagnosed her with encopresis--http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/encopresis

I'm not going to go into how giving Julia the enema went.  It was the worst day I've ever had as a parent so far. I really, really hope she doesn't remember the fear and pain she went through that day, but I have a feeling she will. But, I will say that it worked and cleared out her system. That was April.

Now, well, we're just being patient and supportive.  Julia still doesn't use the toilet. She has been able to tell us (after endless conversations) that she is scared to push because she thinks it will hurt her bottom if she poops.  She is always (always) sincerely apologetic when she poops her pants. I've heard her countless times talking to herself in the bathroom when she thinks we can't hear her, giving herself pep talks about how someday she will poop in the toilet and not be scared. (yes, I cry every time I hear her tell herself that). The thing is, this isn't just a battle of wills. Her fear is just as real as Elisabeth's fear of the dark.  I'm not going to make my kid do something she is scared to do; there's no good that will come of that for her or us. What we can do is just help her; give her the confidence that she will some day no longer be scared to poop. We encourage her to poop in her froggies whenever she wants because I will never have her go that long without a bowel movement again. We do encourage her to use the toilet, but don't push it. We found a book about being scared to poop, It Hurts When I Poop,  and read it to her a lot (it's one of her favorites because she TOTALLY understands where the main character is coming from). She takes fiber every day and has only recently stopped taking the mirilax.

Some days, I want to scream and throw a tantrum that she has pooped another pair of underwear. That it's the millionth pair of underwear I've had to clean out. Some days I want to cry if I have to deal with any kind of poop ever again.  Other days, I am the most patient parent you will ever meet.  I am understanding, supportive, her best ally.  

 Why am I telling you all about Julia and her toilet training?  Because I felt really alone in this sometimes.  Because when people who know we've struggled with this poop issue ask how it's going, I have nothing new to tell them. Because for some reason there is a shamefulness to having a kid who deals with these toilet issues and there shouldn't be. It's a medical condition.  It won't get better over night, or maybe even this year. She has to get over that mental block of being scared before we can at all progress to using the toilet.

But, I am also telling you this because you might know someone whose kid dealt with this or you might be dealing with this too and you should know you're not alone, your kid is not alone. It doesn't make you a bad parent and your kid shouldn't feel ashamed.

I no longer ask parents how potty training is going unless they bring it up first. I also do not judge any kid in a pull up who seems to be a bit too big to be wearing one. My Juju sometimes still wears one in public (if it's been a rough day and we've run out of clean underwear) and I pity any person who makes a snide remark within my ear shot of me about her wearing one. :)

It's hard being a Juju.

Julia has been exploding into a preschooler lately. 

She has an insatiable appetite for letters and numbers.  She is constantly asking me what different letters are, making me trace my finger along the words while I read, helping her count past 20, and insisting on me writing the numbers and ABCs so she can trace them.

Her verbal language is expanding too. She is figuring out more words and better sentence structure, but that makes her stutter as she tries to say the words in her head outloud.  When she stutters, it totally breaks my heart.  Yes, I know it is totally age appropriate.  Yes, I do realize that just this past spring break she was a stuttering fool when she was bursting with new words and that the stuttering went away once she had it mastered.  Yes, my mother-in-law is a speech pathologist and at my disposal for any questions or concerns (she is not concerned by any means).  But, that doesn't mean that listening to her stumble over her words is not the most heart wrenching thing to listen to.  I have had to tell Elisabeth that we don't interrupt her or try to finish her sentences for her; mainly because that pisses Julia off to no end and usually causes a full blown tantrum, but also because she needs to be able to figure it out without pressure.

And, as with every developmental growth, Julia has been a bear to deal with. Julia has also been determined to do things on her own.  She gets herself dressed and undressed.  She uses her stool to try to reach what she can so she doesn't have to ask for help.  She is furious (FURIOUS) if you at all try to do something for her when she is determined to do it solo.  And her temper?  Boy howdy, that girl is a tiny volcano.  We have really had to scramble to figure out ways to deal with her outbursts. Obviously, hitting or kicking are not allowed, but when she's mad, she needs to physically let it out (unlike our Ebeth who either needs to talk/cry it out or pouts somewhat quietly).  So, we've been letting her leave the room/table/area where her anger started and do her own thing until she can calmly come back and be human again.  Sometimes, when she has decided to throw/slam/destroy things in her anger, we give her the option of going to her room to chill out by herself or with our help.  Honestly, she usually asks us to come with.  Once she's in her room, she snuggles into her bed and we read books or cuddle or she cries until she can talk about why she's so mad.  She is much more of a "3 year old" than Elisabeth ever was. As I've said a million bajillion times, they are so opposite of each other.

Julia's definitely on her way to being her own independent person, even if she does need to have me in her line of vision at all times.

I am most curious to see how she will do when this new baby I am growing in my belly joins the outside world.

Preschool

Julia will be 4 in June.  We've always planned on her going to preschool at 4 because...well, because we think she'd love it.  Plus I'm an advocate of preschool (um, I have taught it for goodness sakes) and know the benefits of being apart of a preschool class to a little one.  If we were still in Colorado, she could have even started this year (at age 3), but I probably would have kept her home until she was 4.

 But, here in Texas, at the school district Elisabeth attends, preschool is not offered until age 4 and it is an all day program.  Yep, all day, as in, 7:45AM-3:00PM.  That is the same schedule my 3rd grade Elisabeth has.

Evan and I discussed it and we just can't justify sending Julia there for an all day preschool program. It's a long day for someone so little (and four years old is quite little, which I think people forget).  I looked at the schedule on the school's website, and there are a lot of things that she would love, but eating lunch and napping at school at age 4 feels more like I'm sending her to day care instead of preschool.  It would be different if I needed her in day care, then that full day preschool would be a godsend because it's free through the school district, but I don't.  However, I am going to call the school and see if just taking her for half the day is an option, because if it is, then we'll definitely sign her up.  I do think she'd love preschool, just not a full day's worth.

 The thing is, I feel all this guilt about her not experiencing preschool, but I never went. I started the whole school experience when I walked into my first day of Kindergarten.  And, it's not like I'm worried about Julia's development or learning abilities--she's pretty smart and inquisitive with no red flags that would suggest she needs any early intervention.  I used to be concerned about her timidness in situations where she had to leave me behind (because the girl might love my company to no end), but enrolling her in dance class has really shown us that she is fully capable of being in an environment without me when it's something she loves to do (and she does lovelovelove to dance!).

Plus, um, I have my bachelor's (and some master's classes!) in EDUCATION.  I am fully aware what she needs to know to be ready for Kindergarten and am pretty sure that I could, you know, teach her things needed to know before she steps into her first day of Kindergarten.

It just seems so odd keeping her at home with me another year when Elisabeth started day care at the age of 2.5 and loved every single minute of it.  Ebeth was begging us to go to school so she could meet friends!!  Granted, I worked in the same day care (in the room right next door!) and was able to see her all day, every day.  She also flourished in that kind of environment because the girl thrives off of interacting with other people.  Plus, we had no choice--Evan was in law school and I had to work to make ends meet.  It's just different with Julia.  I'm home all day and don't have to work.  She has never been in a day care experience at all (and I don't think she would have taken to it the same way as Elisabeth did).

So, overall, I feel much better with our decision that, if half day preschool is not an option (because paying tons of moola for a private one is not something we're willing to do...mainly because everything here is a million miles away and also because private preschool is EXPENSIVE!), then Julia gets to stay home with me and the new baby next year.  She can start Kindergarten (which is also full day) when she is five.

An update on the girls.

-Both of my girls are growing. Elisabeth has an unstoppable appetite and has out grown most of her wardrobe. Her feet are now in a child's size 3, which is just 2 sizes away from needing to shop in the women's shoe section. Julia is in a 4T now and they fit her perfectly. I need to make sure the bucket of 5T clothes is ready in the wings for when she sprouts into them. Also, Julia's been asking for naps again, which she rarely does anymore, but usually occurs during a growth time.

-Elisabeth is going to have a ginormous summer vacation this year. School ends on May 27th here but doesn't start until August 22nd in Texas. If we were still living here, she'd start school on August 3rd. That's a good 2.5 weeks of extra vacation. She's very excited, mainly because she knows that means it's extra time she'll get to hop in the car with me and explore San Antonio.
-While Ethan and Owen were visiting us last week, it occurred to me that Ethan will remember Colorado more than Julia will. That made me very sad. She's so little and she'll have barely turned 3 by the time we move to Texas. She won't remember our house or her room or the library we go to weekly or the Y or anything. Thank goodness I take so many pictures so she can at least see the things she loved to see and do and where we lived when she was ages 1-3.
-Let's have an Elisa-update. Currently, Elisabeth's favorite color is orange. She is reading chapter books left and right (so proud!!). We're reading the 3rd Harry Potter together and she loves it! I'm going to go ahead and read the whole series with her and then get her her own addition of the series so she can read them whenever she wants. She is thinking about being a music teacher or an art teacher when she grows up. She's pretty certain she wants to live in Illinois as a grown up (probably in Chicago). She still brainstorms ways to save the planet, still dances like no one's watching, still sleeps with her Doodle Bear every night. She and Evan still have their Star Wars: The Clone Wars dates on Friday nights (complete with popcorn and soda). She's been better about keeping her room clean and has really started to improve her "dealing with Julia" tactics. She is a clothes and shoes fanatic and has developed her own unique, cute style. Elisabeth is growing up and some days that is fabulous and some days I try to rewind it all to see the progression all over again.
-And then there's Julia...Julia's favorite color is pink. She has imaginary friends and is playing more and more out of my sight. Julia likes paint and markers and chalk and feels that any surface is an art outlet (including her face). Julia is funny. She has a natural ability to know what will get a laugh. She's definitely our comedian. Julia likes to read, loves her Pink Baby and considers Roosevelt her bff. Julia is wearing underwear now and is quite proud of herself. Julia is getting better about talking to people the first time she meets them, but we've still got a long way to go. Julia's almost physically outgrown her crib and we're talking about getting her a big girl bed (sob!). Julia's pretty good at riding her tricycle and no longer needs a booster seat at the dinner table. She's like to be a Mommy when she grows up. She asks for Evan as soon as she wakes up and is beyond giddy when he walks in the door.
Well, I guess I'll keep both of them. For a while at least.

Painting

Julia loves to paint.

She is currently into rock painting.

And, as she is a rather messy painter, all of the painting has to be done with water colors at the kitchen table under supervision.

I mean, she is only 2.5 years old.

Yesterday, Julia asked me to paint her fingernails. This is yet another type of painting that she loves. I was in the middle of cooking about 3 things at once and told her she'd need to wait until I was done cooking. Besides, I reminded her, her nails were already painted. She pointed to some spots that had chipped away. I told her I'd fix them after I finished up in the kitchen. She said ok and wandered away.

She came up to me a few minutes later to tell me she had a surprise for me. With a huge grin on her little chubby face, she held up her hands and showed me this...

I screamed. Loudly. I ran to my bathroom, where all fingernail polish is kept, but didn't see a mess. I could definitely smell that polish had been used, but couldn't see it. I asked Julia to come here to show me where she'd painted her nails.

She said no.

I said to get her little toddler self over to me pronto.

She meandered in very s l o w l y.

I asked her where she'd painted her nails. She pointed to my closet.

I opened the door and saw a spill spot on the carpet. Not as big of one as I was anticipating, but purple is not a forgiving color on tan carpet.

After explaining why she can't paint her own nails by herself in my closet, I had her help me clean it up.

She's going to be the end of me, people.

Julia gets her first hair cut!

I know, I know, it's been ages since I've written. We have been soooooo busy. I'm going to try to catch up with my posts, so be ready for a bombardment of blogging.

First off, I know you are dying to know how our birds are doing. Well, here are their eggs!!! No chicks yet, but we'll let you know when they hatch!


Julia, at the ripe age of 11 months, was in desperate need of a hair cut. So, I took her to a local hair salon. I was equipped with snacks and a drink to pacify her (which is why her hands are in her mouth in all the pics), and Elisabeth was the photographer. I think she did a really good job!



I like how she's critiquing herself in the mirror in this picture.
I had to pretend I was sleeping. :)


Julia was a real trooper! I was so sure she would totally freak out, but she didn't whine or cry at all! Now, granted, she was fed the entire time, but still. They gave her a little certificate with "First Haircut" on it and taped a lock of her hair to it. It was very sweet. So, now we all have to start scheduling regular hair appointments. So fun.

Alright, time to start getting the pics ready for the next blog....