That Baby

I know, three posts in as many days.  What is up? you ask.  Well, I'm ready to be back in the blog world.  After a much too long hiatus, I have found that I have things to talk about again. Some of you have very sweetly sent me messages over the months telling me you miss my blog and wish I'd start it up again.  Thank you, I truly appreciated the words of encouragement. So, forgive me as I try to catch you all back up on the goings on in our family life.  

Let's start with Vivian.  Ah, Vivian.

Vivian turned 18 months in August.  There are lots of words to describe Vivian--fun, crazy, stubborn, wreck-less, smart, sweet, cranky, cute. She's definitely keeping us on our toes, and some days I am holding on to my sanity by the skin of my teeth.

 Vivian refuses to be left behind.  If Elisabeth and Julia have something, there better be one for Vivian.  If Elisabeth and Julia are going somewhere, wait up, cause Vivian's going too.  She pushes her way into what they are doing whether she's been invited or not. This kid will not be a wallflower.

 She is at that stage where she is parroting everything we say, so we've all had to step it up in the attitude department.  Stub your toe and tempted to say that four letter swear word?  Better rethink it unless you want to hear that baby mimic you perfectly.  Vivian is incredible at being able to express herself.  Currently, when she wants your attention she'll say, "(insert name), come here!" in her tiny voice accompanied with a little hand gesture to emphasize her point. It's hard to not comply.

 Vivian's favorites:
Reading books.  She has four books that are must reads at bedtime and she spends a good amount of time during the day looking at books in the play area. Definitely winning her mommy over with the love of reading.

Her pig.  She has a stuffed pig that has recently become her favorite thing ever.  It goes with us places, sits by her when she is on the couch, and sometimes accompanies her to bed.

Running outside when Evan gets home from work.  She likes Evan.

The outside.  She often needs to run, jump on the trampoline, mow the grass with her mower, or get pushed in her car.  It's been so freaking hot lately that we can't just let her out, which infuriates her and makes her a bit of a beast. Thankfully, she and Julia enjoy running laps inside.

Not sleeping. Vivian is by far the worst sleeper I have ever birthed. She just loves sleeping with people  and wakes up throughout the night seeking us.  I'm pretty sure she'll want to bunk up with Julia, who is also a cuddler.  Maybe we'll get them a double bed and they can feel safe and secure all night long. But, for now, Vivian hangs out in her crib for half the night and by around 1-2am, winds up snuggling up with me in our bed.  Good thing she's cute.

 Vivian does not yet have a nickname.  When we write about her on texts, emails, or facebook, we refer to her as V, but we don't actually call her that.  To be honest, what we do call her is That Baby, as in, "That Baby climbed on the table again." or "That Baby just dumped my full cup of coffee again."  She's the daredevil of our three--pushing the laws of gravity daily, defying death at least once a week, living on the wild side.

 I will say this, Vivian is fun.  She is sweet and has a pretty mature sense of humor for a toddler. She loves giving out hugs and kisses.

 Vivian is Julia's shadow.  She does everything Julia does, says everything Julia says. I recently told someone, Vivian wants to be Julia when she grows up.

 They bicker, of course.  They often both "need" to have the same toy or sit in the same spot and there is no room for compromise.  But, for the most part, they are very sweet together. When I take the girls to our Y kid area, I am constantly told what a great big sister Julia is; she makes sure Vivian is ok and comforts her if Vivian gets upset.  They say that Julia includes her even when Julia's playing with other kids.  It is all things I have witnessed myself, but it's nice to hear that others see them being kind to each other too.

 Elisabeth is like a little mother to Vivian.  She is constantly telling me she'll hold Vivian when we are places or volunteers to clothe, bathe, feed Vivian.  Seeing them together is cute, because there is 9 years between them, but they have a special connection. I have no doubt that Vivian will rely on Elisabeth as a source of counsel as they get older.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, we kind of like Vivian.

 That Baby is going to be a lot of fun. :)

Sunflowers!!

Every year I give gardening a try.  You might remember my first potted garden in Colorado.  It went...ok.  

I just have these grand ideas of what I want a garden to look like and am always unprepared for how much work gardens entail. I have friends back in Illinois who have these gorgeous vegetable gardens, and I think, ooh! I can do that!  And then I remember that I am in Texas, where nothing grows but the temperature, and I am forced to try to only garden a very small flower garden and a few potted vegetables.  Sigh.

I am lucky that Evan likes to garden as well (his dad has a fabulous garden!!!).  The past few Mother's Days, Evan and the girls go out to buy me flowers and we all plant them together on Mother's Day.  It's become a tradition that I absolutely love.  The girls pick out flowers they think I will like and it's fun to see what they choose (this year--marigolds, roses, and some purple bush that is actually growing and thriving, but whose name neither of us can remember) (Evan looked it up--they are blue plumbago!!!).  However, gardening in Texas has proven to be most frustrating.  First off, it's hot as hades and we're always under water restrictions. Secondly, the dirt in our yard sucks (oh, Illinois, how we desperately miss your fertile soil!).  So, it's a game of praying for rain and trying to remember to water enough to keep them alive, but not too much to spoil them as the temperatures keep climbing and it gets more and more dry. I did plant a few garden veggies and was able to eat a few things, but where I set the pots ended up being in too sunny of a spot and the bluejays who nest in our trees ate all my ding dong tomatoes (with me watching! cause they are jerks!!).

Nevertheless, we continue trying.  

Evan has found his signature plant since we moved to Texas, though--sunflowers!!!  He planted them the first year here and they grew!  Like crazy!  This year he planted two varieties in multiple spots in our yard and some of them got to 10 feet high!!!  

 Evan starts off planting seeds and the girls get all excited when they see them sprout. When they get taller than each girl, it is cause for celebration.

 Here are some of them in our garden bed in our back yard:

 This year, we had house finches come and chow down on the sunflower seeds.  I had never seen finches like this before, so I had to take pictures (shocking, I know).  I was inside the house and taking them through the blinds all sneaky and paparazzi like...

 but they totally saw me.

 How creepy is this guy?!  He is making eye contact with me:

The sunflowers have since died and Evan hatchet-ed them down (he rarely gets to use his hatchet...because why would he need it? He's a lawyer, not Davy Crockett).  Next year, besides the obvious sunflowers, we're going to actually check to see what is native to our area in Texas and plant things that will survive in these hellish conditions.

We're freaking geniuses, I tell you.

Swimming.

This past week, school started.  Many people on facebook have started talking about going apple picking, thinking about upcoming fall traditions they will be participating in soon, and grumping that the pools are already closed when, of course, the weather is smoking hot and perfect for swimming this last weekend of summer known as Labor Day Weekend.

What about us, you say? Well, thankfully the pools stay open longer here, because summer is not even close to being over. The highs this weekend over 100 degrees and I have already promised the girls a trip to our neighborhood pool this weekend.

 What's funny is, last year, we barely went swimming. Yes, I had an infant at the time, but when looking back, it wasn't just that Vivian was so little, it was a whole crop of reasons--Evan had started the JAG job from hell and worked obscene hours, Julia was in the middle of her constipation issues, and I was having some post partum depression issues.  It just wasn't on the radar. This year, though, we are taking advantage of having such a great pool on Ft Sam that is for residents. It's an awesome pool for us because it's zero depth, has spouts, is deep enough for some snorkeling and cannon ball jumping, and is 3 minutes from our house. It's rarely busy, too.

 See that swimming aide that Julia is sporting below?

 That thing is fabulous!! Julia has blossomed as a swimmer since we strapped it to her this year.  She's grown confident enough to float, swim underwater, jump in unassisted, and even try swimming WITHOUT the aide!  Plus, as she gets better, we can take off a layer as needed so that she is swimming more and more on her own.  I must publicly thank Kyle for recommending it, as she is our professional pool guru.

 I have only taken the kiddos to the pool solo for one very good reason: Vivian.  That child is crazy. She loves the water, but every now and then she'll get it into her head that she needs to climb out and run super fast to the deep end and try to jump in.

 I kid you not, I had a panicky drowning moment while chasing her because i was still IN the water and she was out, but she was trying to jump in to the 5'6" area and I COULDN'T TOUCH THE BOTTOM. So, I was trying to push her out of the water while trying to keep my head above.  I finally pushed her back hard enough that she fell backwards onto the pool deck and I hollered at Evan to come help me. (To be fair, he was helping Julia on the other end of the pool and couldn't see me...because he was doing handstands.  But, he rushed as soon as I hollered, so no worries.)  Vivian wasn't even phased, she thought I was roughhousing.  Crazy baby.  Anyhoo, as the summer has progressed, Vivian has gotten much better about listening, so going to the pool has been fun!

(Just for the record, Elisabeth spends 80% of her time underwater when we are at the pool, and is very hard to photograph the few minutes I have the camera out.  I am not deliberately neglecting to post pictures of her. Thank you.)

My Elisabeth

My Elisabeth is 10.

She wears exactly one shoe size smaller than me (she's a 7.5). She is in the last size of girls clothes. She is 4'8" and is always checking her height against my mom because she can't wait to be taller than her Memaw (who is maybe 5'1").

My Elisabeth has read all of The Hunger Game trilogy. She has her own little library in her room. She still asks me to read to her and wants to start reading The Chronicles of Narnia series with me.

My Elisabeth loves listening to fun., Coldplay, Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, Frank Sinatra, and The Beach Boys. She has such a sweet singing voice. One of my favorite things is singing along to the radio with her in the car.

My Elisabeth wants to be a teacher. And an author. She wants to go to Bradley University just like Evan did. She'll live with her Nina and Papa while she's in college and work at Nina's school with her.

The Quadrangle

I realize that I have been majorly MIA on the blog front for a long time, so some of you may not know that we will be staying in San Antonio for 2 more years.  Evan got an MLC job at Lackland (Medical Law Consultant) and we don't have to move! Evan is excited about the new job and I'm excited he's excited.

Now, I know that I have been very bleh about living in Texas.  I won't lie, it is not my favorite state. It is too damn hot for too much of the year, people do not know how to drive nor how to properly secure things in the beds of their trucks, and it's really hot. However, if we do have to stay for 2 more years, I must admit that I love where we live on Ft. Sam.  Our neighborhood is friendly and safe, I am 5 minutes from the commissary, we are 15 minutes from Central Market (the best grocery store EVER), and we're in downtown San Antonio, which does have a lot to offer.

Plus, we have The Quadrangle. It's located a mere 1/2 mile from our front door and it's a great place to take the kids.  Where water fowl are most friendly:

 And the clock tower is gorgeous!

 And the peacocks follow you around like puppies.

 And deer eat carrots from your hands.

 Where chickens are chased by babies.

 And Evan can chase the duck with the funny hair with his camera to his heart's content.

 Where trees love hugs from grown men.

 And peacocks perch in branches much to our delight.

And the best part?  It's totally free and open all year round.  

Poor Vivian

Someday, when the girls look back at this blog, Vivian is totally going to need at least three years of therapy as to why MONTHS went by after her birth before I even remotely tried to compose posts about her. Parenting fail.

So, as a way to try to make up to her for my slacking, I shall dedicate this post to her and all her going-ons.

Vivian is 10 months old. She is so her own little person. She likes to cuddle, screech, crawl, eat, chase the cats, nap, clap her hands, nurse, cry, and is mesmerized by her big sisters. She has a temper that could rival that of angry person you know.

I find it a smidge harder to finagle three kiddos. It's no longer the matter of Evan taking one kid and me taking another. Now one of us has to be in charge of at least 2-3 of them at a time!! ( All of you with 3+ kids are laughing at me now, aren't you?)

The crazy thing is, Vivian is going to be one year old next month. How is that even possible?!?!

Here are some pictures of my sweet baby V. I hope this helps future V forgive me for neglecting her blog wise.

Poop.

Julia turned 4 years old last month. We had a small celebration with our friends in Colorado while we were visiting there and then celebrated again on her actual birthday at home.  She asked for a bunny cake this year, so I ended up making two--a pink one for the Colorado party and a brown one for her birthday.

 Julia is still Julia--fiesty, sweet, big emotions, smart, funny, stubborn, spunky.  She still sleeps with her nubs, pink bunny, and blankie.  She loves to draw, color, skip, jump on the trampoline, play with baby dolls, ride her bike.  She still holds my hand when we walk places.  She still gives hugs as hard as she can.  She still loves apple juice and Cheezits.

 Julia only wears skirts or dresses (even when playing t-ball this spring).  Her favorite color is pink and she loves painting her nails.  She loves to dig in the dirt and help cook in the kitchen.  She loves to dance and play ball.

 Julia also is scared of bugs.  While watching Evan and Julia playing catch, she unknowingly put her foot in an ant hill. Evan said that hundreds of ants were crawling up her legs and biting her by the time he ran to her.  He beat off as many of the ants as he could and carried her home bawling in his arms to rinse her off and put medicine on her bites. She has been out-of-her-mind scared of bugs (especially ants) ever since.

 Another one of Julia's fears that we've been dealing with for over a year now is her fear of pooping in the toilet. Over a year ago, Julia showed interest in using the toilet.  We let her wear underwear and she started urinating in the toilet pretty regularly.  She was very proud. She would not, however, poop in the toilet.  She would either poop in her froggies (aka: Pull-ups with pictures of frogs on them) or in her underwear.  One day, while over at our friend Rachel's house, Julia was sitting on the toilet waiting for me to bring her a froggie.  She needed to poop and did NOT want to use the toilet.  Well,she ended up pooping in the toilet...which hurt her.  She cried and cried.  We didn't push pooping in the toilet after that, trying to give her time to get over the fear of pooping.

Weeks turned to months and Julia did everything in her little power to not poop in the toilet.  She basically trained herself to wait for nap time and bed time and just poop in her froggie.  We didn't really push it too much.  I had dealt with kids whose parents were so micro-mananging about potty training when I taught preschool age kids that the kids ended up being super constipated and miserable.  I did not want that for my Juju.

Around Halloween, Julia declared that she would poop in the toilet at Christmas time.  As Christmas time crept up, Julia changed her mind and declared she would not poop in the toilet until she was a big sister.  We all said ok, no pressure. Once Vivian was born, we encouraged Julia to at least try pooping in the toilet before asking for a froggie.  She said ok, but she didn't really try very hard.  Then, one day, while going "tinkles", she accidentally ended up pooping a good sized poop.  We all cheered, but Julia started hysterically crying.  She did not want us congratulating her.  She was mortified that her body had betrayed her and allowed a poop out in the toilet.

After that incident, Julia stopped pooping completely.  She wouldn't go in the toilet. She wouldn't poop in a froggie.  After a week of no pooping, Julia started complaining of tummy aches. After two weeks, she was leaving smears in her pants, but still refused to poop. She was getting open wounds from having to be wiped/having poop on her bottom so much. So, now she really didn't want to tell us if she needed to or had pooped because we'd have to wipe her and that was such a traumatic ordeal.  Her screams when being changed made me cry from helplessness. She would leak poop and not even realize she'd done it. If we tried to make her sit on the toilet, she would scream like we were forcing her to put her hands on an open flame. She was terrified.   After almost a month, Julia wasn't even passing gas. Her stomach was rock hard. She was lethargic, grumpy, miserable.

I had avoided seeing a doctor because I knew they'd want to give her an enema and  I couldn't imagine Julia's reaction to that idea. Her biggest fear was pooping and we'd be forcing her to poop by putting medicine in her poop hole (as she calls it).  I took her to a chiropractor, I asked other moms for help and ideas, I googled, I pushed water and gave her fiber, but when we got to that month mark, I was frightened for Julia's insides.  So, we made an appointment with one of the pediatricians on base. The doctor was very nice, especially when I started bawling my eyes out in her office. She talked to Julia about needing to poop, why it was important, etc. Julia nodded and was so, so little sitting there in her pretty dress and favorite red shoes. The doctor told me she didn't need to take x-rays to be able to tell that Julia was completely full of poop--she could tell just by feeling her stomach.  As I'd predicted, she prescribed an enema and also mirilax to help keep her stools soft. The doctor also diagnosed her with encopresis--http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/encopresis

I'm not going to go into how giving Julia the enema went.  It was the worst day I've ever had as a parent so far. I really, really hope she doesn't remember the fear and pain she went through that day, but I have a feeling she will. But, I will say that it worked and cleared out her system. That was April.

Now, well, we're just being patient and supportive.  Julia still doesn't use the toilet. She has been able to tell us (after endless conversations) that she is scared to push because she thinks it will hurt her bottom if she poops.  She is always (always) sincerely apologetic when she poops her pants. I've heard her countless times talking to herself in the bathroom when she thinks we can't hear her, giving herself pep talks about how someday she will poop in the toilet and not be scared. (yes, I cry every time I hear her tell herself that). The thing is, this isn't just a battle of wills. Her fear is just as real as Elisabeth's fear of the dark.  I'm not going to make my kid do something she is scared to do; there's no good that will come of that for her or us. What we can do is just help her; give her the confidence that she will some day no longer be scared to poop. We encourage her to poop in her froggies whenever she wants because I will never have her go that long without a bowel movement again. We do encourage her to use the toilet, but don't push it. We found a book about being scared to poop, It Hurts When I Poop,  and read it to her a lot (it's one of her favorites because she TOTALLY understands where the main character is coming from). She takes fiber every day and has only recently stopped taking the mirilax.

Some days, I want to scream and throw a tantrum that she has pooped another pair of underwear. That it's the millionth pair of underwear I've had to clean out. Some days I want to cry if I have to deal with any kind of poop ever again.  Other days, I am the most patient parent you will ever meet.  I am understanding, supportive, her best ally.  

 Why am I telling you all about Julia and her toilet training?  Because I felt really alone in this sometimes.  Because when people who know we've struggled with this poop issue ask how it's going, I have nothing new to tell them. Because for some reason there is a shamefulness to having a kid who deals with these toilet issues and there shouldn't be. It's a medical condition.  It won't get better over night, or maybe even this year. She has to get over that mental block of being scared before we can at all progress to using the toilet.

But, I am also telling you this because you might know someone whose kid dealt with this or you might be dealing with this too and you should know you're not alone, your kid is not alone. It doesn't make you a bad parent and your kid shouldn't feel ashamed.

I no longer ask parents how potty training is going unless they bring it up first. I also do not judge any kid in a pull up who seems to be a bit too big to be wearing one. My Juju sometimes still wears one in public (if it's been a rough day and we've run out of clean underwear) and I pity any person who makes a snide remark within my ear shot of me about her wearing one. :)